General Manager “Just Joking” in Sexual Emails

STRAFFORD, PA – It’s just business as usual, that’s the attitude circulating the office following the latest email from Langley Insurance General Manager Mark Huntsman. Sent at approximately 11:38am EST, the email in question read:

Attention Interns,

Those hoping to further their career will be happy to learn that there is a full time position opening within the company. All interested parties are encouraged to apply on my penis.

Few are concerned about how the email will affect the three interns on staff. Travis, the only male intern, thought it was pretty funny, as did the majority of full time employees.

“He’s just having a little fun.” Remarked Ben Kipp from Sales. “Mark’s trying to lift everyone’s spirits, Tuesdays can be a real drag so it’s nice to have laugh.”

When we reached out to Mr. Huntsman for comment he told us that he was “just joking” noting that he sent the email out to the entire office staff, including Human Resources, none of whom had launched a complaint. “It’s just my sense of humor, no one would read that email and think I was seriously trying to get some high school poon! Those interns are barely eighteen.”

Others were oddly defensive of the email, stating that anyone who may be offended should “lighten up” and “maybe not be so uptight.” Some even went so far as to note Huntsman’s history of sending humorous emails during the work day. “He just likes to make people laugh, it’s not like he would use his position of power to take advantage of anyone here,” said Fred Beard from accounting. “Every Friday he offers to take us out for beers, he wrote for his college comedy newsletter. That’s just who he is, it’s nothing to worry about.”

Meanwhile, Rachel, an intern who turned 18 two weeks ago, is currently considering whether she could balance the full time position with her school work. Mr. Huntsman is really hoping she applies.

Kevin Cole

 

This Week on The Last Hurrah

Kick of your week right with our newest podcast episode…

50 – Back To School

This week on The Last Hurrah, school’s back in session as we discuss our own shortcomings as students. Find out who messed with substitutes, who got suspended for fighting and who got into a fight after cracking yo’ momma jokes to their own brother. Plus, we discover just how ill-prepared the audience is for a fire drill.

Subscribe and review the show on iTunes or stream it on LastHurrahLive.com

Then, join as at the Maryland Ensemble Theatre on Aug. 30th 7pm for…

The Last Hurrah’s First Ever Comedy Open Mic Night!

The Last Hurrah is furthering its efforts to cultivate local comedy by hosting their first Monthly Comedy Open Mic Night. On the last Sunday of every month, The Last Hurrah will open their doors to anyone from stand up comics, to sketch performers and improv teams looking to get some practice in front of an audience. Performers will be given 5-10 minutes of time in the Maryland Ensemble Theatre’s Stage 2 space, and as always The Last Hurrah is absolutely free to attend.

Tomorrow on The Last Hurrah!

This Sunday August 23, 2015 at 7pm, The Last Hurrah is going back to school! Join your host Kevin Cole and a panel of comedians as they lean into grade school nostalgia. Everything from fire drills to government subsidized school lunches will be provided. It’s all of the school with none of the work or education, just free comedy and one last chance to pick on the new kid (that’s a major no-no, don’t pick on the new kid unless you want ten demerits).

Episode written by: Lisa Burl, Kevin Cole, Caitlyn Joy, James McGarvey and Christine McQuaid

 Join the fun Sunday, 7pm at the Maryland Ensemble Theatre

Catch up on past episodes!

Balls Deep(er(er)) Relationship Advice

This week on The Last Hurrah, we’re joined by Lisa Burl (one half of the creative team behind Balls Deep(er) in Love) and a slightly drugged Christine McQuaid. Together we discussed bad break ups, help some audience member settle their love trouble and even reached into the depths craigslist to help some Frederick locals find love, whether or not they came to the show. We also said goodbye to a dear gallbladder, who will be sorely missed (until the drugs kick in).

Panelists:
Lisa Burl
Christine McQuaid
Episode Writers:
Kevin Cole
Christine McQuaid

Deaf Awakening goes to Broadway with Joshua Castille

On this very special episode of The Last Hurrah, we sat down with delightful Joshua Castille who is currently making the leap from Deaf West’s production of Spring Awakening to Broadway! We learned about his origin story of discovering theatre via a shower curtain and how he and Christine McQuaid became fast friends. We discuss what goes into making a production of Spring Awakening that’s accessible to both the hearing and the deaf and just how tight the show’s ensemble must be to pull it off.

Panelists:
Joshua Castille
Christine McQuaid
Special Guest:
Katie Rattigan
Episode Writers:
Joshua Castille
Kevin Cole
Christine McQuaid

Losers to the Left: Donald Trump’s Debate Rider

To the good people at FOX News,

First and foremost, I’d like to thank you all for treating my candidate with the respect he deserves. You’re among the few news outlets willing to cover Trump under the umbrella of politics, and you’ve got the balls to bring him back to prime-time. With that in mind, my candidate has a formidable background in television production, from The Apprentice to the Miss Universe Beauty Pageants, he knows how to put on a show and simply will not appear on your political pageant unless the following demands are met:

  • Trump is to be placed center stage behind a golden podium emblazoned with “TRUMP” so there is no mistake as to who the king is and where he belongs, front and center.
  • For a nominal fee, Donald Trump is willing to finance the construction of similar TRUMP brand podiums for other prime-time candidates.
  • Dr. Ben Carson is to be placed to the right of Donald Trump to bolster the image that he has black friends.
  • Senator Marco Rubio is to be placed as far away from Trump as possible.
  • It is strongly encouraged that a great wall be built between Rubio and Trump
  • Marco Rubio is to present an American Birth Certificate at the time of the debate as the candidate is concerned that he may be yet another rapist from across the border.
  • Donald Trump will only drink the purest spring water in the world, as such, he is to be provided with a case of Trump Ice Spring Water.
  • Donald Trump will provide Trump Ice Spring Water for all other candidates to consume during the debate.
  • Debate Moderators are to be fitted with complimentary Trump Collection Suits, in exchange, moderators will not discuss the use of foreign labor used to hand sew Trump brand suits and ties.
  • Donald Trump will allow debate moderators to join him on his private island for the thrill of hunting the most dangerous game, provided they stray from the topic of Donald Trump Jr. and Eric Trump’s love for big game hunting.
  • Donald Trump is to have the first and last say on all issues foreign and domestic.
  • No one outside of Trump’s immediate campaign team may touch him, this includes handshakes.
  • Air conditioners and fans are to be disabled and windows are to be shut to minimize breeze.
  • The venue is to provide one orphan for the purpose of shining the candidate’s shoes.

We greatly appreciate your cooperation and would like to offer our production services for future debates.

Corey Lewandowski
Trump 2016 Campaign Manager

Washington Post: Cover Letter

To whom it may concern,

I am writing in response to the Entertainment Writer position that is currently listed on your website. I did not have much time to go over the listing, in fact I haven’t even checked your site to see if it exists, but from what I can tell, it’s certainly there.

My love of culture paired with a sheer lack of time to enjoy it has provided me with the  necessary skills to write for your publication. When I happen to have free time, I watch my favorite go-to movies, plays or television shows. However, I must again state that I don’t much time to do these things, and I’m certain with a position covering entertainment I will be afforded even less time to do so. Judging by the reports I’ve skimmed, this is seen as a positive within the industry. To prove my worth to The Washington Post I have prepared some reviews for upcoming summer blockbusters that I am too busy to view (though I have seen the necessary 30 second television spots to get the gist of the films):

Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation Dir. Christopher McQuarrie, Starring Tom Cruise

Delivering on the promise of past missions, Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation provides non-stop action as Tom Cruise jumps out of one plane and into another for two full hours. Explosions abound as nearly impossible missions are made possible thanks to skills and gadgets afforded by the secret government agency within the film, presumably modeled after the CIA. Shame it had to be bogged down with so much Scientologist propaganda.

Fantastic Four Dir. Josh Trank, Starring Miles Teller and 3 more Fantastic actors

Deciding to take a new route with their super hero films, DC Comics has handed the Fantastic Four franchise over to a group of unknowns. The film is packed with first time directors and actors with the exception of House of Cards’ Kate Mara. This technique works wonders as all cast members find their footing both as super heroes and in front of the camera for the first time. It’s like a coming of age film, but with InvisiGirl and Orange Hulk.

Trainwreck Dir. Judd Apatow, Starring Amy Schumer

The “creative” forces behind this film have released yet another amoral stinker. Literally. This film possesses more scat jokes than a middle school locker room. In Trainwreck, Amy Schumer plays a her typical role with an Apatow twist, a woman trying to find love in a world filled with “pesky blacks” and “dumb women.” What’s a girl to do? Hopefully she’ll skip Trainwreck in favor of something more wholesome.

If you have the chance, please look over my attached resume where you can find a list of past experiences both real and fantasy, I assure you that it’s all fairly close to accurate. I can also provide references at your request, but honestly there’s little need to check sources in today’s fast paced atmosphere.

Thank you for your time,

Kevin Cole

TLH – Indoor Fireworks & Bernie Sanders’ Froyo

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The newest Last Hurrah is now available online, download it and subscribe to the show via iTunes.

On July 5th, The Last Hurrah took to the Maryland Ensemble Theatre’s Stage 2 space to put Baker Park’s leftover fireworks to good use. Then they sat down with Scott Travers, Isabel Duarte and Katie Rattigan to discuss Bernie Sander’s froyo habits and decrepit american theme parks.

Panelists:
Isabel Duarte
Katie Rattigan
Scott Travers
Special Guest:
Wilson Seltzer
Ysa Seltzer
Episode Writers:
Kevin Cole
Isabel Duarte
Christine McQuaid
Katie Rattigan

Join the fun every Sunday at 7pm at the Maryland Ensemble Theatre

Learn more at LastHurrahLive.com

TLH – I Kinda Like The D

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The newest Last Hurrah is now available online, download it and subscribe to the show via iTunes.

In celebration of the recent SCOTUS decision with regards to same sex marriage, we attempt to to discuss the topic but mostly end up talking about 90s boy bands

Panelists:
Caitlyn Joy
Giovanni Kavota
Christine McQuaid
Special Guest:
Bobby Martin
Patrick McQuaid
Episode Writers:
Kevin Cole
Christine McQuaid

Join the fun every Sunday at 7pm at the Maryland Ensemble Theatre

Learn More at LastHurrahLive.com

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