Artist: Ed Ramsburg
He lay before me on the cold steel table, a middle-aged man, gray, slightly balding, strong jawline. He’s nude, besides a white sheet folded over his lower half. I begin the procedure. With a bone saw I cut through his ribs GZZZZZZRRRRRWWWW! His two lungs, also gray and slightly balding, are now exposed. Gently, using a scalpel with great precision, I cut the thin membrane of his lungs to take a peek. Hmmm …I reach my hands down in there. Squishy. Olives. Green olives I hold in my hands. Suddenly the man’s eyes pop open, and he lifts his head to speak.
“Waiter! Where’s my Goddamned martini?”
“Oh, yes, sir. Right away. Nurse! Where’s his Goddamned martini?”
The nurse silently hands me the drink. I hold it in front of the man’s face.
“Here you are, sir.”
The man stares at his dry martini.
“What’s the matter, sir?”
“Goddammit!” he shouts.
“Where’s my olive?”
I pick one up out of his open chest and drop it in the drink.
“Care to start a tab, sir?”