A CHUBBY GUY’S TIPS TO PICK UP CHICKS

You wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve heard heavyset guys complain about their dating life. While some blame the girls, others blame themselves. “My boobs are bigger than hers!” “She only dates the guy with the rock-hard abs.”

Well, I am here to tell you that there are girls out there that like the chubby guy. They’re the “chubby chasers.” To help you reel one in, consider these tips.

ChubbyTips1Chubby Tip #1

Don’t suck in your stomach. It only emphasizes the circumference of your man-boobs. You don’t want to change who you are or what you look like. By simply letting your body “hang out,” you will allow the girl to see you for you and not a man with a large rack. Remember, L.I.G.H.T = Let It Go and Hang Today.

Chubby Tip #2

Wear clothing appropriate for your size. I understand that many larger men believe they look slimmer when they wear shirts or pants a size down from their usual. However, it can be a tad scary for girls. In one case, your gut may be hanging out below the line of your shirt like Jabba the Hut trying to play peek-a-boo by hiding behind a napkin. In addition, some men have perky nipples. So, when you are wearing a tight shirt and it’s 40 degrees outside, your nipples begin to puncture the cloth as if they’re gasping for air. Don’t be too shy to wear your size.

ChubbyTipsChubby Tip #3

Once you’ve got the right size clothing, dress to impress. Trade in your cheese puff-covered sweats for something sharp. I’ve found that khakis and polo shirts tend to do very well for us husky guys. For a formal dating scene, one where you’re wearing a suit, be the suit. Don’t be afraid to act like James Bond by listening to “Secret Agent Man” or “Man For All Seasons” as you’re driving to the restaurant. Just make sure you’re alone in the car. Once you’ve picked her up shut off the music, but keep the attitude.

ChubbyTipsChubby Tip #4

When the consumption of food is involved during this interaction, try to restrain yourself. I know how hard it is when you’re sitting between a sprinkled donut and a beautiful girl. You lick your lips; maybe drool a little. And you know that when she leaves to use the restroom, it’s about to get nasty back at the table. However, when you two are together, keep yourself calm and be sure to drink plenty of water. It will help fill you up. By not overwhelming her with portion sizes, you can carry on with a sprinkle-free conversation. And you never know, maybe she’s just a little jealous of that donut.

In the end, you know what is most important. Be yourself. Even though you hear it from all the skinny people and your parents, it is true. Now, I’m not sure whom you’ll end up with, whether it’s someone like you or that Barbie who thinks you have a six-pack under those layers of love. But one thing is for sure—there is someone out there for every chubby guy.

Stay pudgy,

The Chubby Guy

ChubbyTips

 

Illustrations by David Luna

Written by Andrew Michaels

A Chubby Guy’s Tips to Pick Up Chicks was originally published in The Annual #3!

Purchase your copy today!

 

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