Local Fat Kid Not Fooling Anyone

BRANSON, Missouri — Local high school student Michael Medlock, 17, is under the impression that he has developed a number of methods to hide his girth from his classmates. While walking to class he holds each backpack strap to hide his body. “People think I just have a lot of heavy books. I’m sure it gets them every time.”

However, many of Michael’s classmates disagree. Student Christa Pamplar said, “We all know why he always has his bag. He carries it everywhere; to gym class, even to lunch, where you clearly don’t need books.” Michael’s friends say he will go to fast food restaurants at odd hours to avoid being seen. “There is no way he would ever go to Burger King during dinner when other people might see him there,” Gardner Hart said.

“No I don’t go during those times,” Michael says, “because of course I’m there, they would think. They assume I’m there, so I have to fight that.” Michael uses other methods to disguise his heft, including stepping halfway off an elevator in order to ease the process of redistributing his massive weight, and wearing a jacket well into May.

“I tell people my mom will get mad if I don’t wear a jacket,” Michael said. As of press time, Michael was wearing a dark shirt with vertical lines and the one pair of jeans that didn’t make him look like a total fatass.

Scott Travers, AP

Local Fat Kid Not Fooling Anyone originally appeared in The Annual #3! Purchase your copy today!

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