The early bird gets the worm. The early bird is also ostracized by all the other birds.
-Hey, did you guys hear? Stanley got the worm again.
-Pshh, yeah no kidding. Why’s he gotta be so damn early all the time? I mean, give somebody else a chance.
-Look at him over there on his branch all high and mighty. He thinks he’s so much better than us.
-Yeah but he’s gonna need to pick a stronger branch ‘cause all those worms are making him fat!
-Ha! Yeah! He is fat! He is so fat!
-The only reason he’s up so early is because he goes to bed at like 7:30 every night.
-Yeah. He never does ANYTHING. That reminds me. You guys coming over for poker later?
-Shhh everybody, here comes Stanley.
-Hey guys. How’s it going? Did I hear somebody say poker? Sounds like fun! Maybe I could…
-No. Nope. There’s no poker tonight.
-Oh, okay, maybe next time. Hey, did you guys hear? I got the worm again this morning!
-Yes, Stanley. We heard.
– Goodbye, Stanley.
-Oh, okay. Oh, I almost forgot, I saved each of you guys some of the worm. Here ya go, enjoy! I’ll see you guys later. (flies off)
– … wow. That was nice.
-Yeah…but did you see how fat he is?
Greg Yates (Guest contributor for our special Improv issue) is currently living in Chicago, IL and studying at The Second City and iO. He has been an ensemble member of SAK Comedy Lab in Orlando, FL since 2008 and can be seen performing in Chicago with his two man sketch group, Mommy, and improv groups, Vault and SAK North.