CELEBRITY JUSTICE: Bigfoot? Arrives in Court

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Bigfoot sat before a judge today to hear the charges facing him in last month’s meth freak out at the San Diego Zoo. Or at least we think it was Bigfoot as the tabloid sensation arrived at court entirely clean-shaven.

After adding indecent exposure to the list of charges, the judge asked Bigfoot how he would plead and the star’s attorney replied “Not guilty by reason of drug addiction” which is a valid plea within the Hollywood penal system.

Witnesses were brought forth to testify including an eight year old girl who claimed that Bigfoot flipped her the bird while asking “Don’t you know who I am?” after stealing her Lion Club Sandwich© at the zoo’s snack bar.

Throughout the proceedings Bigfoot appeared to develop a five o’clock shadow that would encase his body. Though we are still uncertain that it was actually Bigfoot sitting silently at the trial, the development of rapidly growing body hair and size 13 feet seem to be a good indicator that the star actually made an appearance.

As of press time Bigfoot has been sentenced to pay a $10,000 fine in addition to performing 51 hours of community service.

Celebrity Justice was originally published in The Annual #4, purchase your copy today!

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