A Simple Question, A Not So Simple Answer

For college students, a summer job can be both a blessing and a curse.  While providing sufficient income for the upcoming semester and increasing your entertainment “fundage,” a job can be a drag when it conflicts with pool time and vacation schedules.
This summer, I decided to find a new and different job—just to spice things up in the workplace.  After cranking out 12 or so applications, I was called for an interview at a local grocery store.  Now, for the past two months, I’ve worked at the store as a cashier.  Even though the job is simple, the grocers I’ve interacted with are certainly… odd.  Since we’re asked to greet the customers with a simple, “How are you?” I’ve gotten some unusual responses and, sometimes, some questionable questions.

Here’s what I’m talking about:

Too overjoyed: “Today is a glorious day filled with absolute glory!”

Too grumpy: “I have two teenager daughters, a bitchy wife and a kidney stone coming.  What do you think?”

Too personal:  “I’m pretty good.  Just realized the scab on my back looks like Calvin and Hobbes duking it out.”

Too sexual (customer was purchasing erectile dysfunction medication):  “Pecker ain’t what it used to be, but I’ve got a feeling he will bounce back.”

Too WTF?: “My kid’s hamster died, so pretty damn swell.”

Questions I’ve received:

“Anyone ever tell you that you look like Chris Farley?”

“Do you have a trashcan for this diaper?”

“What is the circumference of your melons?”

“Can I get a discount on these condoms that I found it the bathroom?”

“I sneezed on this fruit, so can I get a discount?”

“Why are you telling me this?” you ask. Perhaps I’m telling you to apply to your nearest grocery store.  Maybe I want you to think about what goes on in a grocery store bathroom.  Or you should question where your recent fruit purchases have really been.  Despite the nature of these “average” customers and my overall experience, I will say it sure as hell beats a desk job.

Andrew Michaels

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One thought on “A Simple Question, A Not So Simple Answer”

  1. Most of the time when we go to stores to purchase our weekly groceries, we tend to not acknowledge the humanity behind the uniform and the brand. They might as well be a robot. Thanks for the insight into what happens behind the scenes.

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