For college students, a summer job can be both a blessing and a curse. While providing sufficient income for the upcoming semester and increasing your entertainment “fundage,” a job can be a drag when it conflicts with pool time and vacation schedules.
This summer, I decided to find a new and different job—just to spice things up in the workplace. After cranking out 12 or so applications, I was called for an interview at a local grocery store. Now, for the past two months, I’ve worked at the store as a cashier. Even though the job is simple, the grocers I’ve interacted with are certainly… odd. Since we’re asked to greet the customers with a simple, “How are you?” I’ve gotten some unusual responses and, sometimes, some questionable questions.
Here’s what I’m talking about:
Too overjoyed: “Today is a glorious day filled with absolute glory!”
Too grumpy: “I have two teenager daughters, a bitchy wife and a kidney stone coming. What do you think?”
Too personal: “I’m pretty good. Just realized the scab on my back looks like Calvin and Hobbes duking it out.”
Too sexual (customer was purchasing erectile dysfunction medication): “Pecker ain’t what it used to be, but I’ve got a feeling he will bounce back.”
Too WTF?: “My kid’s hamster died, so pretty damn swell.”
Questions I’ve received:
“Anyone ever tell you that you look like Chris Farley?”
“Do you have a trashcan for this diaper?”
“What is the circumference of your melons?”
“Can I get a discount on these condoms that I found it the bathroom?”
“I sneezed on this fruit, so can I get a discount?”
“Why are you telling me this?” you ask. Perhaps I’m telling you to apply to your nearest grocery store. Maybe I want you to think about what goes on in a grocery store bathroom. Or you should question where your recent fruit purchases have really been. Despite the nature of these “average” customers and my overall experience, I will say it sure as hell beats a desk job.