The biggest problem with the summer seems to be the constant energy consumption. You’ll do anything to stay cool, until the bill arrives. Luckily, we at The Annual have compiled a list of simple ways to keep energy costs down while beating the heat.
- Unplug your fridge at night, the air naturally cools down once the sun goes down so you won’t need to worry about anything spoiling.
- Use migrant labor instead of electric fans.
- Knock large holes in all your exterior walls, and enjoy the cross breeze.
- Go old school and carry a box fan on your shoulder like a boombox.
- Sign a pact in phallic blood with Marchosias, mighty archduke of Hell, and be granted the ability to thrive in all temperatures.
- Instead of wasting your own energy figuring out ways to save energy, just turn on the a/c and listen to ac/dc’s greatest hits.
(P.s. Best results are found when using a vaporizer while listening).
- Plan ahead by harvesting ice during the winter, then use it to insulate your home in the summer.
- Purchase a summer home on the moon. You must provide your own transportation. Time shares available.
- Scope out the homes of older couples going on vacation. Move into home, and tell neighbors that your great-aunt and uncle who previously inhabited the house died in a freak accident. Replace all photographs in the home with pictures of yourself and your cat. Alternately, for more sustainable use, scope out the homes of older couples who may kick the bucket soon.
Compiled by Parker Benbow, Kevin Cole, Nicolas Contreras, Isabel Duarte, David Luna, and Steve Younkins