Washington Post: Cover Letter

To whom it may concern,

I am writing in response to the Entertainment Writer position that is currently listed on your website. I did not have much time to go over the listing, in fact I haven’t even checked your site to see if it exists, but from what I can tell, it’s certainly there.

My love of culture paired with a sheer lack of time to enjoy it has provided me with the  necessary skills to write for your publication. When I happen to have free time, I watch my favorite go-to movies, plays or television shows. However, I must again state that I don’t much time to do these things, and I’m certain with a position covering entertainment I will be afforded even less time to do so. Judging by the reports I’ve skimmed, this is seen as a positive within the industry. To prove my worth to The Washington Post I have prepared some reviews for upcoming summer blockbusters that I am too busy to view (though I have seen the necessary 30 second television spots to get the gist of the films):

Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation Dir. Christopher McQuarrie, Starring Tom Cruise

Delivering on the promise of past missions, Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation provides non-stop action as Tom Cruise jumps out of one plane and into another for two full hours. Explosions abound as nearly impossible missions are made possible thanks to skills and gadgets afforded by the secret government agency within the film, presumably modeled after the CIA. Shame it had to be bogged down with so much Scientologist propaganda.

Fantastic Four Dir. Josh Trank, Starring Miles Teller and 3 more Fantastic actors

Deciding to take a new route with their super hero films, DC Comics has handed the Fantastic Four franchise over to a group of unknowns. The film is packed with first time directors and actors with the exception of House of Cards’ Kate Mara. This technique works wonders as all cast members find their footing both as super heroes and in front of the camera for the first time. It’s like a coming of age film, but with InvisiGirl and Orange Hulk.

Trainwreck Dir. Judd Apatow, Starring Amy Schumer

The “creative” forces behind this film have released yet another amoral stinker. Literally. This film possesses more scat jokes than a middle school locker room. In Trainwreck, Amy Schumer plays a her typical role with an Apatow twist, a woman trying to find love in a world filled with “pesky blacks” and “dumb women.” What’s a girl to do? Hopefully she’ll skip Trainwreck in favor of something more wholesome.

If you have the chance, please look over my attached resume where you can find a list of past experiences both real and fantasy, I assure you that it’s all fairly close to accurate. I can also provide references at your request, but honestly there’s little need to check sources in today’s fast paced atmosphere.

Thank you for your time,

Kevin Cole

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