Producers, reporters, and meteorologists,
Thank you for joining me. Here at NBC 37, we strive to provide the greater Pensacola area with the finest in local journalism, we’ve got an Emmy winning team of reporters and photographers who are not only the best in the area, but the best in the business. Recently, we’ve paid a consulting firm big money to find out what it is our viewers look for when they tune into the local news and suffice to say, it’s not Emmy worthy reporting. In fact, the one thing viewers look for more than any other programing is the weather. So with that said, I’d like unveil our next step in local programing: complete weather domination.
We are primed and ready to prove to our audience that we are fully capable of controlling weather coverage. Now, a lot of you may think that the battle is already lost with weather apps readily available to anyone with a smart phone, but we have to be better than the app. We will be better than the app.
To begin, our ten minute news block will be switched with our three minute weather block. That means, at the top of every half hour, I want to see smiling anchors tossing to a nine and a half minute weather segment and I don’t want to see or hear from them until it’s time to toss to commercial.
In the following block, our meteorologists will open with a one minute recap of the weather forcast followed by two to three minutes of local news. The two blocks that follow may be filled with content at the producers discretion, but each and every one MUST end with a weather tease so that viewers are constantly aware that their leading local weather is only minutes away.
Meteorologists, on a side note, you guys need to be boosting the weekend forecast on a daily basis, Monday through Friday. Weekend ratings have taken a hit and studies are showing that viewers would rather spend their free days out of the house with family and friends. By regularly promoting the weekend forecast we can remind viewers that we’ll still be here for them on Saturday and Sunday. This will also keep them in state of discontent with their own jobs, seeing us as the one news source willing to give them a desperately needed glimpse into the weekend, the two days out of the week when we don’t have to pretend to be happy.
Now, the most crucial addition to defeating app-based weather reporting is this little red phone. This little beauty is hooked up to a recycled fire alarm so when it rings, it can not be ignored. You will also notice there is no way to make outgoing calls, only a bright red bulb that flashes when call has been placed. The phone is connected to a toll free number that viewers can call whenever they wish to hear the weather, the phone will be active 24/7. Once the phone rings, you are required to break in with a live weather report. Making us the first and only station in the Pensacola area to offer weather anytime the viewers are remotely curious as to what may be happening outside, I’d like to see an app do that!