The fog has rolled in and the spooking season has begun, and yet here you stand in a turtle neck sweater. I mean, I can forgive the sweater, it’s starting to get cold. But all that extra skin? Shed those layers girl! Pop out those eyeballs! It’s the one month of the year when you don’t really need them.
Strut those bones, and show the world what you’re working with because beauty is no longer skin deep, not anymore, not while the pumpkins are bloom.
Best of all, it’s a full blown cheat month. Once you go full-skeleton you can eat whatever the hell you want. That extra-large stuffed-crust, double cheese, meat lovers pizza is just going find itself in a pile on the chair in Gino’s Pizzaria. You can finally be carefree but best of all, you don’t have to be scare free.
This is your time to freak out the neighborhood. Loiter in alleyways and offer cigarettes to children. Leave your skeleton hand in the cash slot at the ATM. Chill out in a republican’s closet. Just be the skeleton that you are, that usually freaks people out on it’s own.
Stripped down to nothing but bones, you a primed to do you, just remember that skeletons are allergic to Pumpkin Spice, so play it safe and stay inside.