11 Mean Things Ricky Gervais Said at the Golden Globes

Ricky, you got some ‘splainin to do!

  • I can’t stand Jeff [set production assistant], what a twit!
  • You thought Tina and Amy were tough? Well they were just the kool-aid, it’s time for Jim Jones’ final service!
  • (Giggle) Just a (giggle) with the hair like a (giggle, giggle) his (giggle) it’s just a raccoon fucking a donkey, innit?
  • There are plenty of wonderful films up for awards tonight like The SHARTian — my mistake, that’s The Martian
  • I swear if Jeff crosses my eye again I’ll have ‘im done in like Princess Di.
  • Course y’know, american cheese is just (giggle) emmental and red leicester shat out by a diarhettic buffalo that’s just (giggle) that’s just seen a raccoon fucking a donkey, innit?
  • Oh Angelina, that dress is simply horrid!
  • Goo goo, Gaga!
  • Yeah, John Hamm’s put on a few, maybe he should lay off the beef.
  • Git over here Jeff, you little shit! I’ll bash your goddamn head in! (hysteric giggles) I don’t care!
  • (giggle) righ’, righ’, so (giggle) her (giggle) just like a li’l, like a l’il, (wheeze-giggle) in her, in ‘er (englishteeth baring giggle) wot, like a, like a, (giggle, giggle) FUCKING RACOON FUCKING A FUCKING DONKEY? INNIT? INNIT? innitinnitinnitINNIT?

It seems that after last night’s festivities, Gervais should start planning his apology tour.

Kevin Cole & Lydia Hadfield

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