After being ignored by the mainstream media it seems Bernie can’t catch a break as he explains his recent youtube-imposed absence.
Please send any questions you have for Senator Sanders to BerniesCampfire@gmail.com or tweet @SandersCampfire.
My good friends, pull up a log, I’d like to speak with you for a few minutes about my supossed absence from the campfire. As I stated in previous instalments, I have not been receiving equal coverage from the mainstream media as they choose to almost exclusively cover the campaigns of Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. Recently, it would seem that youtube has join the media in their quest to ignore our campaign. Every week, I make time to start a modest campfire behind my home in Vermont and while the air gets colder, the warmth of my supporters who gather around the campfire continues to grow. For the past four weeks I have stood so close to the fire that I could feel the bern myself. It’s a very powerful feeling. I say a few words, I go back inside to watch the ballgame and I hear the sounds of young socialists singing kumbaya outside.
Of course, in this time Youtube was very busy ignoring our campaign while Donald Trump’s first attack ad against… muslims? racked up millions of views. And now I am being handed a slip of paper informing me that our own sound guy had been ignoring the campfire as well as those past week’s episodes were never recorded. This is why Killa Mike is also present at the campfire with headphones on, taking up the role our new MC – Microphone Controller.
Of course, this week I come to you all some very good news: we are currently polling above Hillary in New Hampshire and it’s got the Clinton campaign a little on edge. Doubling down on attacks to make me seem as if I’m not as radical as I appear to be. But make no mistake, I have been radical since my first day in office when I road in the Vermont Statehouse on a flaming skateboard! And in the coming weeks the Clinton campaign will see that they cannot exstinguish these flames, and they will shortly feel the bern. As always, please forward all questions to my unionized press secretary at email@example.com