So the power’s back on, the roads are now drivable and you’re out on the town looking for someone to shack up with… better yet, you’re prepping for the next blizzard, hoping to spend a weekend getting to know someone. Well, here a few sure-fire-untested pick up lines from The Annual:
- Hey girl, I think I have frostbite on my penis; can you check it out for me?
- Damn girl, my fingers are so cold; know of any place that could warm them up?
- They call my face “the fireplace,” so why don’t you sit on it and cozy up?
If you can’t get your car out, I can get my shovel under your bumper (raises eyebrows)
- Hey boy, is that a slowly melting icicle in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?
- Boy are you Frozen? Because your storm is raging on.
- Did your road get its snow removed? Because I could plow you all night.
- Is your power still on? Because I’m about to blow your fuses.
- Girl, are you a thermometer? Because it’s cold and I’d like to go down on you.
- [Sings the entirety of Baby it’s Cold Outside]
- I’ve got two snowballs that refuse to melt in my pants, wanna see? They’re white and could use some massaging.
- Open that mouth, girl. You can catch more than snowflakes on that tongue.
- I’ve got a little road salt I could sprinkle on your rim you let me buy you a drink, and yes, that is a subtle allusion to rimjobs.
- Don’t stop! Winter is coming and so am I.
- Baby, I’ve been having sex with a snowman in my backyard for five days and I desperately need human contact.