Bernie Sanders to Release Second Album, Transitions to Punk Rock

It’s become common knowledge that in 1987 Bernie Sanders released a folk album titled We Shall Overcome. To cover for his inability to carry a tune, Sanders teamed with a dozen Vermont-based musicians to record what would be his only foray into the music industry.

Nearly 30 years since the release of We Shall Overcome, The Chicago Tribune uncovered an image of a younger Sander being forcefully arrested during a civil rights rally.

This image, is no mere piece of archival photography but leaked cover art from the senator’s return to music.

“We had the image leaked to gauge public reaction” stated Jeff Weaver, Bernie Sanders’ campaign manager and record producer. “We figured this would do nothing but boost perception of the candidate as a radical and we were dead right. We’ve retooled his image since the last album, people like to see Bernie get riled up and this transition to punk music provides the perfect outlet for that.”

The majority of Sanders’ supporters are angry, fired up and ready to take on the establishment. The candidates new album Smash the Banks may provide the perfect soundtrack. Supporters anticipate that Sanders will be carrying more weight on this album since he can simply shout the lyrics rather than worry about the harmonies required for folk music.

When asked about how Sanders felt making the move to a more aggressive art-form, the candidate had this to say, “Sure, I’m a pacifist, but I’m not afraid to throw a television out of the third story window of a Hilton just to stick it to those capitalist pigs. We’ve got a great track titled “I’m Ready To Die (because I can’t afford your for-profit healthcare)” that I think is really going to resonate with voters.”

Smash The Banks is set to feature such punk icons as Iggy Pop, Johnny Rotten, and Sid Vicious who recorded the Wall Street takedown Wall Sheet for Sanders back in 1978. Bernie added “I suppose I’ve always had a bit of a mean streak, I just wasn’t ready to commit to the punk lifestyle until recently.”

Shortly after speaking with us, Bernie put on a pair of sunglasses and pissed on a Clinton campaign sign while raising two freshly tattooed middle fingers to the sky.

Kevin Cole

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