Dear Open Letter Responders,
The past twenty-four hours have been a trying time. Since I awoke yesterday I witnessed a wave of offense spread across social media, someone’s open letter had gone too far. The problem is, all responses to the offending letter were aptly directed to “People who write open letters.” This is the passive aggressive equivalent to walking into a post office and talking smack about your particular mail person without ever saying their name… maybe they’ll learn not to just toss your packages over a fence and into a steadily growing puddle, but odds are they have the day off.
I did my due diligence to find out who had sent the initial letter. Googling “open letter” I found at least 4 different letters written in the past week, though none within the timeframe of outrage. The local paper neglected to cover this letter as well. To a certain degree I could assume Apple had written another letter to the FBI but most folks seem to side with Apple so that’s unlikely.
Look, I’m 25, I’ve got a full time job and a cat who’s starved for attention, I can’t keep up with open letter outrage of the day. Hell, I have to relearn what people mean by TFW every two weeks and then I end up making that face when you worry about short term memory loss. So please, when responding to open letters, just say you’re pissed at Focus on the Family or whoever the hell is causing trouble, it could save a full minute of my life.