Reality TV for Trump’s America

It’s 2016, American Idol is a thing of the past, the newest winner of The Apprentice has been appointed to the office of Vice President. Our nation is now a televised trash heap, leaving many to ask “what televised trash will fill the void?” Here are some great new programs fill the few moments when our incredible President Trump is not gracing television screens:

Sing For Your Supper

30 contestants. 30 days. 10 meals a night. This is the show that will revitalize the singing competition, it will occur nightly and there’s a very real chance that 20 people could starve to death. American television has no time for losers and this program will take effectively take them out of the equation altogether.

Real World: International Waters

In Trump’s America it goes without saying that you could basically shoot a guy on 5th Avenue and get away with it, so the freedoms afforded by taking a show out to sea will eventually lose it’s appeal. Think of International Waters as a pilot program, send 12 sex-crazed douchebags to the middle of the Pacific let Americans grow desensitized to the violent crimes that are just waiting to happen. Come 2018 viewers be well prepared for the daily purge.

Fear Factor: Flint

Those people in Flint are losers, I’m sorry but it’s true, they’re losers. That’s why the auto industry left them for China back in the 90s. President Trump isn’t going to spend capitol to bail out this failing town, let it flounder and bring in 5 families from suburban Wyoming. With a deteriorating school system and a poisoned water supply, it’s gentrify or die!

Jeb Bush Wife Swap

First of all, this will be broadcast on every major network. Every. Major. Network. By law. Still wondering what reality tv will look like under President Trump? It’s gonna look a lot like porn. Porn with lingering cut away shots to some loser crying in the corner. I won’t say who that loser is (but his name’s in the show title).

Kevin Cole

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