Updated Sayings: For the 21st Century!

We are living in the grim early days of the millennia.
Some of our old idioms just aren’t cuttin’ it!
They speak of a world long gone. Let’s give some of those timeworn sayings a re-branding! (Or as they used to say ‘a makeover!’)

I. “Justice is blind”

What? Justice is your six year old neighbor. If we’re talking about the court of law and it’s requisite fairness then…What?

UPDATE:“The system is blind and carries a shotgun”

II. “Kill two birds with one stone”

Who kills birds with stones? Even little Justice has a bb gun.

UPDATE:“Kill two birds with one drone”

III. “You’ve upset my apple cart”

Uh…Apple cart? You can keep the Apple if you want, but give it a new spin.

UPDATE:“You’ve thrown my phone in the toilet!”

IV. “You’re the apple of my eye”

UPDATE(HIPSTER VERSION):“You’re the Ashmead’s Kernel of my eye.
UPDATE(PROLE VERSION):“You’re the celebrity of my life-screen.”

Compiled by Ms. Ribble-Kuntz

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