The Annual, through a top-secret mission of secrecy, was able to obtain a piece of writing straight from Dr. Ben Carson’s diary written after he dropped out of the 2016 race. We present it here in its entirety.
March 2nd, 2016
What an awful couple of days. As it turns out, I am not meant to be President. After my defeat on Super Tuesday there isn’t a reason to continue my campaign any longer.
I’ll manage but I’m worried dear diary, what will happen to my hands? The hands that successfully detached two twins conjoined at the head. The hands that inspired the book and movie Gifted Hands, and the hands whose fingerprints resemble the image of Jesus. What will become of my five point healing machines now that they’ll never get the chance to fix America?
I thought the power of my scalpel carriers would carry me through to the White House. But America is too politically correct to understand the healing power of these fists. All I had to do was get to the Washington, step into the oval office and place a single hand on my desk, the President’s desk, and everything would have been okay. War would have ceased, race would have become a non-issue, and my eyes would have stayed open for an entire State Of The Union Address. This could have been yours America!
But now what should I do with my magnificent metacarpi? Stick them in my pockets?! That’s a disgrace to the history of neurosurgery. No, my gifted hands are meant to do great things I just have to figure out what those next great things will be. For now I will continue making money by appearing on Fox News, and selling off the rest of my Carson2016 pins.
That’s it for now diary; I’m off to treat my mighty dukes to a massage.
– Dr. Ben