5 Gifts to Make You Look Like a Real Dumb-Dumb on Teacher Appreciation Week

There’s no worse feeling than letting the teacher who inspired you most know what grade-A moron you turned out to be. Here are the top five gifts to avoid giving on Teacher Appreciation Week.


5. Bananas

Someone did not do their homework. Do a google image search for “teacher” or “school” and you’ll find out right away that bananas are furthest thing from an appropriate fruit-based-gift. An apple a day keeps the doctor away and given the low health care premiums offered to public school teachers, that’s precisely what they’ll need. Plus, 98% percent of teachers are deathly allergic to bananas.


4. Gold Star Stickers

Give a gold star, get a gold star. Seems easy, right? WRONG! Your beloved teacher receives endless sheets of gold star stickers from relatives in need of a last minute gift almost twice a year. You’d be better off saving those gold stars for yourself, you’re going to need them once the teach reads you Of Mice and Men book report.


3. A Handwritten Letter

No one likes a manifesto and while the sentiment may be nice, your teacher doesn’t get paid to read your awful handwriting. Maybe just hand them a five dollar bill with last night’s homework and they’ll get paid for grading papers for the first time in their life.


2. School of Rock/Bad Teacher/Kindergarten Cop DVDs

We get it, these teachers are bad, but your teacher is the best even if they never took you on a life changing trip to Battle of The Bands.


1. Replacement Hamster

Sure, you took that little guy home over break and he didn’t survive. Bringing a new hamster in isn’t going to stop your peers from viewing you as a hamster murderer. Sniffles died under your care, he crawled into that toaster and he ain’t never crawling out.

Kevin Cole


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s