At the start of every month, we open our mailbag to answer your questions! Send them to Mailbag@TheAnnualOnline.com
“Dearest one in Christ Jesus how are you doing today?
However is not mandatory nor will I in any manner compel you to honour against your will. I am Mrs Vivian Rorent from United Kingdom.
I married to Mr. Rorent Betes from Toronto Canada who worked with Canadian Embassy here in Cote d’Ivoire for nine years before he died in the year 2011. Before his death we were both born again Christian. Since his death I decided not to remarry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against.
When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $4.5 Million in a bank .
Recently, my DOCTOR told me that I would not last for the next Eight months due to cancer problem. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a Orphanage or good Christian that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct here in.
I want a Church organization or good person that will use this fund for orphanages, widows, propagating the word of God and to endeavor that the house of God is maintained.
l took this decision because I don’t have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians not even good at all because they are the one that killed my husband in other to have all my late husband properties and I don’t want my husband’s efforts to be used by unbelievers…
We’re going to cut you off there Mrs. Vivian because what you just described was MURDER. You shouldn’t be asking people to give your husband’s wealth to charity after your passing, you should ask how the people who murdered your husband are walking free. I mean, you’re quick to emphasize that your DOCTOR diagnosed you with cancer, but how long have you know this “doctor”? Are you sure this isn’t Uncle Jimmy wearing a false mustache and a stethoscope? The people who killed your husband are slowly poisoning you, and when you die of seemingly natural causes, no one will bat an eye because a DOCTOR told you that you had cancer. Be very careful Mrs. Vivian, notify the police, make your own food, be safe.
Also, best not to write into humor publications in search of “good” christians. I’m sure you’ll find a few, but “good”? probably not.
Dear weirdos, I was hoping to spend my summer vacation at Disney World but realized that I have very little money. Do you have any suggestions for cheap vacation spots? -Danny D.
Good news Danny, have you heard of Mexico’s Disney World? Well look no further than South of the Border… South of the Border, South Carolina.
This oasis of fun just off I-95 is filled with kitchy relics and outdated, racist depictions of Mexico! Let Pedro, the sombrero clad Mickey Mouse of South of the Border, guide you to their premium motel rooms. Enjoy the rides on the outskirts of Pedro’s Golf of Mexico putt-putt course (provided they’re open, something I have yet to witness in my many visits). You can even explore the haunted mansion… a nearly abandoned Holiday Inn on the other side of the highway. How is this place still in operation? No one knows, but you better make a plan to visit it before President Trump builds a wall around it.
Excuse me Weirdos, but did you just insinuate at there will actually be a President Trump? And do you really think he’s dumb enough to think he would build a wall around a fake, roadside Mexico? -Sheryl P.
We’re not saying that he’d actually make that mistake, but building a decoy town tricked the racist bureaucrats in Blazing Saddles. As for your first question, he’s gotten this far and we are the country that elected George W. Bush twice… Wait a minute, how can you read these questions before they’re published?
Oh, uh… no reason, must be a coincidence.
No Sheryl, this isn’t a mere coincidence. This is something much bigger.” The writer glances into a South of the Border novelty mirror next to his typewriter, his hair is long, his lip stick is on point. “Dear god, I am Sheryl.”
Get your letters into next month’s mailbag by emailing Mailbag@TheAnnualOnline.com!