Here’s some news guaranteed to make you feel old, the Nintendo 64 came out twenty years ago today. Hard to believe it’s been so long since you’ve blown dust out of those cartridges like so much cigarette smoke leaving your lungs. Those were simpler times, when you could contort your hands to hold any controller without feeling arthritic pain.
If you’re a true 90s kid you can still hear the sound of those N64 cartridges clacking together in the movement of your own brittle bones. Clackity clack, a collection of games in your bookbag ready to trade with friends. You may not be old enough to play Teen games but you still snap Goldeneye into the console like your bones snap every time you sit down.
One of the great things about the Nintendo 64 was how many of the games stored their own data. You didn’t need an abundance of memory cards or system with a supped up hard drive, the games remembered everything for you. It’s so hard to remember things now, are your grandkids visiting soon? God, it’s been so long. When was the last time the attendant checked in on you? Navi, I think her name was.
Hey! Listen! The N64 is twenty years old. You were in your prime when that thing came out, look at how young you were…
Now your hair’s turned grey and not because of stress. When you hear the phrase “Banjo Kazooie” you probably think of the instruments Bob and Gladys play down in the rec hall, but “Banjo Kazooie” used to be your favorite game. Of course, that was twenty long years ago.
Are you okay? You look kinda worn out. Maybe I should go and let you get some rest. Can’t believe it’s been twenty years, you must feel so old!