Your PRIME DAY Order Has Been Delivered!

Dear Sir/Ma’am,

Thank you for making this another successful Amazon Prime Day! In these trying times it is increasingly difficult for small businesses like Amazon.com to survive, but thanks to your recent purchases we will be able to serve the general public for the next three years. Due to the incredible size of your order we ask that you confirm the items below have arrived as reflected in our files:

  • Two 75lb Bean Bag Futons
  • 5000 BIC Pens
  • 89 packs of Pamper’s Diapers (all gift wrapped)
  • 1 Spatula
  • Cool Runnings on Blu-ray
  • 8 Amazon Fire sticks
  • 4 Kindles
  • 11 USB Car Chargers
  • 1 Bible
  • 1 Torah
  • 1 Quran
  • 2 Bone saws
  • 25 Machetes (gift wrapped)
  • 1 Seven inch Santoku Knife
  • 50 Feet of Rope
  • 3 rolls of high-grade 250ft Shrink Wrap
  • 5 Gallon Jug of Bleach
  • 1 Bathtub liner
  • 2 Barrels of Hydrochloric Acid
  • 1 Mr. Potato Head shaped like R2-D2

If there are any items missing, please contact customer service immediately.

Kevin Cole

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