A Statement From Maryland Governor Larry Hogan
In the past week I made an online post which many people chose to misconstrue, implying I referred to teachers as a group of thugs. In reality I was referring to union thugs, who find it in their best interest to slander me. These people aren’t teachers but members of an elitist organization that spans the country and likely has roots in the Italian Mafia, if television has taught us anything.
These UNION Thugs are the same people who insist our schools waste money on rulers that are exactly twelve inches, though it would be more cost-effective to provide rulers of any other size. They want chalkboards on the walls and enough lockers for each student. I’ve seen the blueprints. There can’t be that many lockers, or they won’t be large enough to stuff kids into, which, if I recall correctly, is their intended purpose.
Of course, their opposition to my education program should come as no surprise, as I have been butting heads with these union members long before becoming Governor. When I was 15, I spent an entire evening studying for Union Representative Mrs. Kerfler’s Geometry exam, only to receive a C-. It was patently unfair, and while Kerfler will deny it, the result of union rules stating “not everyone can get an A.” The next day I marched into Mrs. Kerfler’s
classroom office and demanded the grade I deserved, but she simply showed me the hard numbers I supposedly miscalculated. Ever since that day, I vowed to not let these thugs push me around.
So before you come after me, Maryland Governor and survivor, remember that these Union Thugs stand at the heads of our nation’s classrooms. Day after day, they lobby to have textbooks filled with the propaganda of the working class in hopes of one day making the same income I found in the private sector. We had no place for Union Thugs at Hogan Industries, and we shouldn’t tolerate them in our public schools.