It’s Friday, and that means I usually catch up on some personal stuff and write some thank you notes. I’ve had a really great week, so there are a lot of people to thank, would you guys be okay if I wrote some weekly thank you notes? Is that cool? James, could I get some Thank You Note writing music, please!
Thank you, Mr. Trump,
for letting me touch your hair, I’ve never felt a dead rat before.
Thank you, America,
for forgiving me after I shook hands with the devil.
Thank you, Questlove and The Roots,
for ignoring me while I yucked it up with a bigot, and for not beating me up during the commercial break that followed.
Thank you, David Duke and the Ku Klux Klan,
for tuning in to our fun little show.
Thank you, Matt Laurer,
for having my back this morning and comforting me after I read those mean things on twitter.
Thank you, big-time celebrity guest,
for not letting Trump’s appearance cheapen future bookings on my show.
Thank you, voters,
for lowering your standards enough that we could reach this moment together.