Ever wondered how to make your very own Broccoli Cheddar Soup!? NOW YOU KNOW HOW!
The Last Hurrah makes its somewhat anticipated return to the Maryland Ensemble Theatre on Sunday January 29th, so this week we bring on a new element of the podcast… Welcome to writer’s night (or a small portion of it). As we build each show, with more intensity than ever before, we will be sharing a 30 minute glimpse into The Last Hurrah’s Writer’s Night so you can see how we put a show together, tear it apart, and somehow manage to put it together again before the show goes up at the end of the month!
On New Years Eve, pop sensation Mariah Carey was the last to fall victim to the curse of 2016. Live on Ryan Seacrest’s Dick Clark’s Rockin’ New Years Mariah suffered the career embarrassment to end all career embarrassments. You can watch the clip below:
As truly embarrassing as this is for Mariah–who claims she was set up as part of a publicity stunt by Dick Clark Productions to boost ratings for what is probably the most-watched New Years Special– you should not give a shit about it. Here’s why…
You’re not Mariah Carey, and what on God’s green earth makes you think you are? Who are you, anyway? You have some gall to question the Goddess that is Mariah Carey. “Shit happens” as she said, but even the good shit you experience will be but a fraction of the best shit that Mariah enjoys on a daily basis. After all, she is Mariah and you are… who did you say you were? Steve?
But let’s not forget the most important reason that you shouldn’t give a shit about Mariah’s New Year’s performance…
DONALD TRUMP IS ABOUT TO BECOME THE GODDAMN PRESIDENT.
In almost two weeks, Donald Trump, the fucking “you’re fired” guy, is going to be the leader of the free world. And maybe you’ve been too upset about Mariah to notice that Mayor McCheese has stuffed his cabinet full of white supremacists and straight-up Nazis!
To make matters worse, Congressional Republicans just held a secret vote to gut the Office of Congressional Ethics, but then pulled the measure because the Supreme Leader essentially said “Woah, woah, not so fast guys! Let’s bury the lead a bit on ethics, take care of that in week two. We have to focus on OBAMACARE!”
Speaking of which, if PRESIDENT TRUMP guts Obamacare, you’ll be begging for Mariah to fuck up as badly as she did on New Years because LAUGHTER IS THE ONLY MEDICINE YOU WILL BE ABLE TO AFFORD.
So maybe cut the queen some slack, kiddos! Because in six months your president will be lip syncing poorly to Putin’s greatest hits in order to avoid another Cold War.
Let’s be blunt, no one wants to begin 2017 by remembering 2016. But those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it, and you don’t want to kill the Great Barrier Reef AGAIN!
While the most important moment of 2016 is yet to be written, the fact that women with unshaven body parts are everywhere is something that should undoubtedly exploited. Sure, as a boy, I’ve been accustomed to the shaven side of most well-judged women. Mom had mention that French women never shaved under their armpits, which horrified me as a young lad, since it had been known to me that only uncivilized ladies would do that sort of thing. Of course, my first visual introduction to armpit fuzz was in a Playboy edition of an iconic hairy Madonna from early naked depictions, which nearly, kind of appalled me. However, the truth is, women in 2016 are unapologetic and proudly growing hair in all its natural delight. An undisputed marvel that has been demonstrated to me in 2016. What will the following year reveal for the contemporary woman, I dare ask?
2016 was hard for everyone, particularly those opposed to the rise of fascism and celebrity deaths. Here are some highlights to remind us that in every tire fire, there are one or two tires that have yet to burn.
Largely overshadowed by the Super Bowl, who could forget the moment when Ryan Gosling was followed home by a flock of baby geese. Marching down Los Feliz, single file, these hatchlings were quick to accept Ryan Gosling, a man with little to no bird like features, as their father. Even better, Ryan Gosling came to love these birds as his own, despite the fact that for him, fathering geese meant sharing a snifter of Brandy with them while watching Crazy Stupid Love on pay-per-view. He even mailed a baby Goose to Rachel McAdams who would in turn dump it on True Detective co-star Colin Ferrell.
The Little Engine That Did
It’s a frightening sight when a train derails, to make matters worse, fatalities are often high so it’s strange that no news outlets covered the derailment of the Amtrak 460 in rural Ohio. Perhaps the lack of coverage was due to the miraculous work of conductor Frank Tamlan who managed to rerail the commuter train after barreling into a corn field. Clint Eastwood praised him as a modern day Sully and quipped that he would have made a film about the rerailing (an event that lasted at least 45 minutes) had Tamlan not been wearing a Hillary Clinton lapel pin.
Cricket comes to America
For a week following the 2016 Olympic Games, cricket was the hottest sport in America and just a quickly as it came, it disappeared. No members of the now defunct American Cricket Committee were willing to explain what happened to the sport, making it more baffling that almost every American family now owns a cricket bat. It’s an anomaly we haven’t seen in the states since Croquet-mania took over in the mid sixties.
Honestly, that’s it. This year was a hell scape, but the good news is that there’s no way 2017 could possibly worse! Haha, right!?
Christmas may be over and that’s bumming out a lot of people, including Thommy Tune. Luckily, Karli’s knows just how to cheer up the world!
It’s two days before Christmas, and much to Karli’s surprise a very special guest arrives early! Could it really be Santa Claus?