Kick off your week right with our newest episode!
This week on The Last Hurrah, we return from an unintentional three week hiatus! Learn about what happened in that missing span of time, Kevin’s most recent experience with calzones, what happens when you give kids helium and tips for surviving a blizzard from Raw Van Sprinkle, author of the “Keep this Book in the Fridge: The Ultimate Blizzard Survival Guide.”
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Then, join us at the Maryland Ensemble Theatre on FRIDAY Feb 5th for a brand new adventure!
We’re smart enough to know not to do a show this Sunday, the super bowl is basically the super bowl of people staying home and watching TV. So we’ll be bringing our free show to the MET this Friday night after the Comedy Pig’s newest sketch show! We’ll take a stab at Tindr-Live, some degree of sports-talk and much much more!
So you’re caught in the middle of the great blizzard of 2016. Smack dab in the 3-foot zone. Perhaps you’ve been fantasizing about a long weekend reading by the fire as the kids trek out to shovel the drive way. But the truth is, you’ll likely be reading by a fire because the power’s gone out and at that point there’s nothing else you can do. Luckily we’ve comprised a list of things for you to do once the power goes out:
- Pick up your cat and walk around the house so it can see things “like a human.”
- Try and get frostbite on just one pinky, or that bit of excess skin, so that the doctors will remove it.
- Plug an old corded phone into your internet jack and reminisce about the days of AOL and dial-up modems.
- Call every pizza shop and see how far you can get them to drive away from the store, preferably after snow has started falling.
- Read those information stickers on your water heater and air conditioning unit for the first time ever and see if there are any clever jokes hidden in them.
- Pick that guitar you haven’t touched in 8 years and teach yourself how to play it.
- Use your Bath and Body Works candle to light a blunt.
- String Christmas Lights in every room of your house. Plug them in and wait.
- Send letters to your friends by peeing them into the snow. Hopefully they’ll walk by.
- Light a road flare and get some reading done.
- Build some snowmen indoors and prop them up so they look like they’re playing poker. Take a picture and sell the rights for millions.
- Aim to fill eight composition notebooks with your manifesto for the police to find.
- You’ve stolen cable from your neighbors, now try your luck with their generator.
- Silently wonder if your toilet will work without electricity as you hold it in for another hour.*
–Kevin Cole & T.M. Scholtes
*Unless it’s a damn auto-flushing toilet you’ll be fine.