Be on the lookout for our pal Cerise! If you hear it, you know what to do.
The Last Hurrah makes its somewhat anticipated return to the Maryland Ensemble Theatre on Sunday January 29th, so this week we bring on a new element of the podcast… Welcome to writer’s night (or a small portion of it). As we build each show, with more intensity than ever before, we will be sharing a 30 minute glimpse into The Last Hurrah’s Writer’s Night so you can see how we put a show together, tear it apart, and somehow manage to put it together again before the show goes up at the end of the month!
On New Years Eve, pop sensation Mariah Carey was the last to fall victim to the curse of 2016. Live on Ryan Seacrest’s Dick Clark’s Rockin’ New Years Mariah suffered the career embarrassment to end all career embarrassments. You can watch the clip below:
As truly embarrassing as this is for Mariah–who claims she was set up as part of a publicity stunt by Dick Clark Productions to boost ratings for what is probably the most-watched New Years Special– you should not give a shit about it. Here’s why…
You’re not Mariah Carey, and what on God’s green earth makes you think you are? Who are you, anyway? You have some gall to question the Goddess that is Mariah Carey. “Shit happens” as she said, but even the good shit you experience will be but a fraction of the best shit that Mariah enjoys on a daily basis. After all, she is Mariah and you are… who did you say you were? Steve?
But let’s not forget the most important reason that you shouldn’t give a shit about Mariah’s New Year’s performance…
DONALD TRUMP IS ABOUT TO BECOME THE GODDAMN PRESIDENT.
In almost two weeks, Donald Trump, the fucking “you’re fired” guy, is going to be the leader of the free world. And maybe you’ve been too upset about Mariah to notice that Mayor McCheese has stuffed his cabinet full of white supremacists and straight-up Nazis!
To make matters worse, Congressional Republicans just held a secret vote to gut the Office of Congressional Ethics, but then pulled the measure because the Supreme Leader essentially said “Woah, woah, not so fast guys! Let’s bury the lead a bit on ethics, take care of that in week two. We have to focus on OBAMACARE!”
Speaking of which, if PRESIDENT TRUMP guts Obamacare, you’ll be begging for Mariah to fuck up as badly as she did on New Years because LAUGHTER IS THE ONLY MEDICINE YOU WILL BE ABLE TO AFFORD.
So maybe cut the queen some slack, kiddos! Because in six months your president will be lip syncing poorly to Putin’s greatest hits in order to avoid another Cold War.
Let’s be blunt, no one wants to begin 2017 by remembering 2016. But those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it, and you don’t want to kill the Great Barrier Reef AGAIN!
While the most important moment of 2016 is yet to be written, the fact that women with unshaven body parts are everywhere is something that should undoubtedly exploited. Sure, as a boy, I’ve been accustomed to the shaven side of most well-judged women. Mom had mention that French women never shaved under their armpits, which horrified me as a young lad, since it had been known to me that only uncivilized ladies would do that sort of thing. Of course, my first visual introduction to armpit fuzz was in a Playboy edition of an iconic hairy Madonna from early naked depictions, which nearly, kind of appalled me. However, the truth is, women in 2016 are unapologetic and proudly growing hair in all its natural delight. An undisputed marvel that has been demonstrated to me in 2016. What will the following year reveal for the contemporary woman, I dare ask?