CNN’s Democratic Debate ran for almost three hours. During that time the top five democratic contenders for the presidency discussed issues ranging from race to gun control, but it was Senator Bernie Sanders who stole the show…
Oh yeah, that’s right Bernie! For the past 6 months Hillary’s campaign has been stifled by the controversy over emails she kept on a private server, but not anymore. It’s time to hunker down and focus on the real issues, next question Mr. Cooper?
Wait wait, this better be about policy because…
Well said! The American people want to hear about where the candidates stand on such issues as climate change and foreign policy, not whether or not Hillary secretly deleted emails that belong in the public record. This is a debate after all, not a time to discuss where the emails of our Secretary of State ought to be stored. So enough is enough with these emails! Let ’em hear you in back, Bernie!
Presidential hopeful and self-starter Martin O’Malley has taken a thrifty approach to his campaign in hopes to win over the youthful hipster vote. Prior to disappearing from the campaign trail all together, O’Malley decided to save money in an attempt to connect with millennials by printing out campaign banners on 8.5×11 copy paper.
“I think my new approach to campaigning will really hook that key crafty-mom demo.” O’Malley said in a statement to the press. Staffers have noted that to date O’Malley has recycled four amazon boxes and used nearly 28 glue sticks to construct his podium.
According to Campaign Manager David Hamerick “The thing is loaded with glitter, once stage lights hit it it will be the only thing visible on stage.” This will no doubt aide O’Malley in the debate as he has largely been overshadowed by candidates willing to engage in policy, rhetoric and voters.
“We know that many college-aged voters are looking for candidates who can relate to them, so we ironically purchased O’Malley’s debate suit at Good Will.” Hamerick added. “At this point, we’re about appealing to anybody who will listen or give the candidate airtime.”
CNN plans to provide podiums for all candidates at the Debate but O’Malley is really hoping this solo-podium earn him the label of “maverick.”