Tag Archives: Emily Perper

The Best Names for Children Conceived on Independence Day:

Fireworks weren’t the only thing banging last nigh, and statistically someone reading this has to be pregnant so consider this your one-stop-shop for baby names!

  • Gloria
  • Mustang
  • Texas
  • Patriot
  • Firework
  • Weiner
  • Sparkler
  • Freefire
  • Sandal
  • Cornhole
  • Kegstand
  • Rocket
  • Yard!!
  • Freedoom.
  • L’il Spark, or Sparky….Cuz everyone knows that if a spark from a firework lands on you, you get pregnant.
  • Baker, for the park in which they were conceived.
  • “America”…after the beer that inspired the conception
  • Pabst
  • Katy Perry, as inspired by firework
  • George Washington
  • Hotdog

Lisa Burl, Isabel DuarteGiovanni Kavota,
Lydia HadfieldEmily PerperT.M. Scholtes

26 Clickbait Articles That You Have to Read!

There are so many great articles on the web and you won’t believe what they’re titled!

  • This Man’s Wife Gave Birth To A Scorpion. His First Dad Joke Will Kill You!
  • 21 life hacks for computer hackers!
  • You’ll never believe what happened after this woman smiled at a man in a CVS!
  • Disney Princesses reimagined as iPhones!
  • A soldier came home from war and his dog literally spoke to him!
  • This video of a little girl learning her ABCs will give you faith in literacy!
  • 12 cats with a picture of Christ appearing in their fur; number seven even has stigmata!
  • The 15 gifts you asked for and didn’t get for Christmas; and the Toys R Us employees you should murder because of it!
  • Top ten gifs of a human penis exploding!
  • These real life ALF look-a-likes will have you questioning society!
  • Read these real theories about the Illuminati, and go undercover protecting the secrets!
  • See all the men your mother has had sex with! You’ll never guess which number I was!
  • Five best ways to get molten candle wax out of your anus.
  • Princess Charlotte, cute? Or demonic porcelain doll? Look at these pics and decide!
  • Weekly viral videos that will have you asking, should I floss more?
  • See the top 20 dead teeth of 2015!
  • 2015 Celebrity Pets Naughty List
  • Top twenty most boring celebrity deaths of the decade!
  • Eight adorable ways to style your hair with just a rusty nail!
  • What your Mac and cheese preferences say about your sex life!
  • Twelve simple tricks to perform mind control on animals! You won’t believe number eight!
  • Fifty slugs that look like Donald Trump
  • This man dressed up as a toilet and hid in a women’s restroom… What happened next will warm your heart!
  • 5 items in the room that are giving you cancer RIGHT NOW!
  • The top super foods that are available at your local Home Depot

Isabel Duarte, Briana Haynie,
Christine McQuaid, Emily PerperT.M. Scholtes

A Christmas Play – Live Read

Live from The Last Hurrah, a staged reading of Lydia Hadfield’s latest production. A tale of a woman in search of gifts who comes to learn much more about Christmas than she could have ever anticipated.

A Christmas Play
Written by Lydia Hadfield

Employee: Christine McQuaid
Cambria: Isabel Duarte
Snaggle: Julia Williams
Stage Manager: Emily Perper

Great Deals on The Pope’s Visit from Craigslist

In light of Pope Francis’ upcoming US Tour, many have been scalping tickets on to events on Craigslist. We at The Annual have taken the time to find the best postings to help you save time and money.

Pope Francis Tickets And A Free Pass To Heaven – $125,000

My priest recently gave my family three tickets to see Pope Francis and told me that if I met His Holiness I would gain admittance into heaven. This was said in confidence during my last confession. Truth be told, I’ve been on a real Billy Joel kick and I feel confident saying I’d like to live a long life and burn in hell for it. So I’m selling these tickets and Father Ted’s word that you’ll get into heaven upon spending time in the presence of His Holiness.

Pope Francis to Perform D.C.

One ticket, front pew: $275. Potential for meet-and-greet. For you or the diehard Catholic in your life. SmarTrip card with $5 thrown in.

Cheap POPE TICKETS

Had plans to see Pope with my son to get the demons out, but he was successfully exorcised by Presbyterians so we’re cancelling and going to Universal Studios. Got two tix, 40 bucks each.

Pope Fan Club Meeting

The DC Chapter of the Group of the Piously Devoted (GPD) will be meeting prior to Pope Francis’ visit to the city. All interested members must present $100 for a penance and 40 “Hail Marys” at the door. Only the righteous may join us for fan-girling session along His Holiness’ Pope Mobile route.

Reasonable Priced Pope Tickets for Sinners and Losers

Protesting Pope not worth all the gay wedding abominations going on that day. Need $$ back to support our godly hatred if everyone. $35 each, must buy all 40. -WBC

Kiss the pope – $2500

When Amal and I got married in Venice, the ceremony was officiated by Pope Francis. This is why we chose not to let the press in on our big day. At one point during the ceremony His Holiness leaned over to me and whispered ever so softly “If I could kiss a man, it would be you George Clooney.” He then sent me a ticket to his upcoming United States tour, and while the thought of kissing Pope Francis excites me, I couldn’t be the one to do it. Proceeds from this Craigslist posting will go towards UNICEF

FREE POPE TICKETS

Had a premonition that something very bad is going to happen in Philadelphia that day and I don’t want to be there. Tickets are free.

Tickets to Pope Francis Show

Girlfriend wanted to see the Dalai Lama, got these instead by accident. If you like Pope hmu. Show includes special guest appearance – could it be Jesus?? $20 each. Take it or leave it.

Want 2 make a buck

Sell bottled water with me for $7 in Brookland metro station
80/20 split

Wear comfortable clothes
No assholes

Pope Gig in DC Livestream

Don’t want to make the trip all the way down to DC for the Pope, but still want to be blessed? Livestream from my phone with added commentary. $40 for the link.

Make Out with Me in a Pope Hat – $25 or Best offer

I am a DDF SWF and am looking to get my modest freak on while wearing a pope hat. For an extra $50 I will dress my car up to look like the popemobile and we can make out there.

Kevin Cole, Taylor GoebelDavid LunaRobert MartinEmily Perper

Robert Martin would like to recommend
you consider investing in unlicensed Pope merchandise.

Link Roundup: Broad City, Stupid Movies & More

7942928570_6bdb15798b_b

Emily Perper

If Stanley Tucci Were Your Boyfriendyou would own a good cheese knife. Nothing pretentious. You wouldn’t need a whole set. Just one. But it would be perfect, and you would never have trouble sliding Camembert pieces off of it. You would be the kind of person who invests in small, good, useful things. You would treat yourself with compassion, and you would never eat Cheetos in the shower.

Jazmine Hughes investigates How Many White People Does It Take To Ruin a Good Joke? White folks tend to punch sideways–especially cis white dude comedians–because they’re the epitome of privilege.

What the Hell is Mortdecai? Y’all, this is the funniest fucking review I’ve ever read. It is bookmarked so I can read it when I feel sad or disturbed or in any way upset.

If you somehow missed this excellent profile of the Broad City badasses, rectify that immediately.

Click here to read Emily’s last list!

Check out The Annual’s Free Digital Issue Now

Subscribe to The Annual for only $20 a year!

Transcending The Holidays: A Bonus Digital Issue

Last week, we promised we would return in a big way and here it is:

Screen Shot 2015-01-27 at 9.44.26 PM

A Free Digital Bonus Issue to kick off the new year!

Click the picture or the words above to download it (they’ll both do the trick).

This issue features our introspective In/Out list for 2015, and you wouldn’t want to start the year without knowing what’s hot and what’s not. You’ll also find junk mail dug up after the holidays, theatre reviews and the five commandments for attending comedy shows. This issue features an incredible interview with Alex Koll (stand up comic and a founding member of The Business) and so much more. Give it a download, tell your friends, download it on your friend’s computers without telling them and then pick up a subscription. The next issue hits the printers in March, but we’ll have plenty more content right here on the web until then.

 

An Interview with Sara Benincasa

In The Annual #10, we shared an interview with comedian Sara Benincasa. With the advent of her new podcast, “In the Casa with Sara Benincasa,” we thought we’d better introduce our online readers to this stand-up comedian/YA novelist/memoirist/storyteller/web editor-in-chief who advocates for mental health wellness in LGBTQ youth. She also has an adorable dog named Morley Safer. Yes, she does everything.

sara copy

Emily Perper: So how are you?

Sara Benincasa: I’m good! I usually get up at 5:30, which is crazy. I blog—I’m the editor-in-chief of a site, an entertainment-humor site called Happy Nice Time People. Happy Nice Time People runs on an East Coast schedule, so I have to be blogging starting at six a.m. So I get up and walk the dog. I actually got up a little late today because I had an interview that wasn’t until 7:45 with Sirius XM, so that was very exciting.

EP: This is good, because I felt a little bad—“I hope I’m not getting her up really early on a Saturday and ruining any sleeping in plans.” What was your Sirius interview?

SB: It was The Judith Regan Show on Stars. She was this very powerful publishing industry person for a while, and then she transitioned to radio. Now she has this radio show, and it was fun; it was really fun.

EP: Were you talking about [your new young adult novel] Great?

SB: I was talking about Great. And I was talking about my Kickstarter, too, so that was neat.

EP: Good. I’m so glad you’re getting the word out about the Kickstarter. I believe in it. I think we’re going to make the goal. Notice I’m using “we.” I’m obviously very invested in this.

SB: You’re on board! I appreciate that. I really hope so. (Edit: We did!)

EP: I was actually going to ask you about Happy Nice Time People, because you just started that gig, right?

SB: I did. I just started a few weeks ago. I just wanted something steady, because the nature of my career is that—and this is true for a lot of people who freelance—I get a job here, I get a certain amount of money; I get a job here, I get a certain amount of money. I spend a lot of time chasing down checks from different places, and I just thought, “Wouldn’t it be nice to have a steady gig so that it’s not feast or famine all the time?” It’s like I have something that I can rely on. Hopefully one day that’ll be unnecessary because I’ll be so fucking rich, but it seemed like a good idea, and I like the site. It’s fun; I like the content.

Continue reading An Interview with Sara Benincasa