Tag Archives: Maryland

The Last Hurrah’s Cuddle Kama Sutra

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91 – Cuddle Kama Sutra

On this week’s Last Hurrah we cope with the loss of Brangelina, drink a little too much apple cider and explore the cuddle kama sutra.

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Join us at the Maryland Ensemble Theatre on Sunday Oct 2nd for a new adventure!

Join us for the start of October in our moderately haunted house! What spectral spirits await? You’ll have to join the fun to find out!

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Last Hurrah – Doula’s Labor Day

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89 – Doula’s Labor Day

In this episode we explore every potential for labor day, particularly “that kind” of labor with the assistance of a nurse and doula. We grill, we play sports, everything you could want to do on your day off from work.

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Join us at the Maryland Ensemble Theatre on Sunday Sept 11th for a new adventure!

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The Last Hurrah – Mysteries of the Unknown

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88 – Goodbye Nicky Costanza

This week on The Last Hurrah we delve into some of the world’s greatest mysteries, earth like planets, ecto-plasma-like residue, spectral visitations and more! Plus we bid a fond farewell to a longtime friend of the show, Nicky Costanza!

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Join us at the Maryland Ensemble Theatre on Sunday Sept 4th for a new adventure!

Last week we said goodbye to a good friend, but this week we welcome back the incredible Two-Human Family (but not by blood) Funtime Band! Plus, a special tribute to Gene Wilder. Don’t miss it this Sunday at 7pm.

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The Last Hurrah Lays Down Some Hate

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87 – Damn Donald Diss Track

This week on The Last Hurrah we delve into the world of freestyle diss tracks with the help of Isabel Duarte, Matt Kline and Karli Cole! We lay down some harsh rhymes on Kraft Mac and Cheese, the heat and Donald Trump.

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For the first time ever, we streamed this episode live on Facebook, you can watch it here!

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Join us at the Maryland Ensemble Theatre on Sunday August 21st for a new adventure!

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“I Wasn’t Referring To Those Thugs” -Gov. Larry Hogan

A Statement From Maryland Governor Larry Hogan

In the past week I made an online post which many people chose to misconstrue, implying I referred to teachers as a group of thugs. In reality I was referring to union thugs, who find it in their best interest to slander me. These people aren’t teachers but members of an elitist organization that spans the country and likely has roots in the Italian Mafia, if television has taught us anything.

These UNION Thugs are the same people who insist our schools waste money on rulers that are exactly twelve inches, though it would be more cost-effective to provide rulers of any other size. They want chalkboards on the walls and enough lockers for each student. I’ve seen the blueprints. There can’t be that many lockers, or they won’t be large enough to stuff kids into, which, if I recall correctly, is their intended purpose.

Of course, their opposition to my education program should come as no surprise, as I have been butting heads with these union members long before becoming Governor. When I was 15, I spent an entire evening studying for Union Representative Mrs. Kerfler’s Geometry exam, only to receive a C-. It was patently unfair, and while Kerfler will deny it, the result of union rules stating “not everyone can get an A.” The next day I marched into Mrs. Kerfler’s classroom office and demanded the grade I deserved, but she simply showed me the hard numbers I supposedly miscalculated. Ever since that day, I vowed to not let these thugs push me around.

So before you come after me, Maryland Governor and survivor, remember that these Union Thugs stand at the heads of our nation’s classrooms. Day after day, they lobby to have textbooks filled with the propaganda of the working class in hopes of one day making the same income I found in the private sector. We had no place for Union Thugs at Hogan Industries, and we shouldn’t tolerate them in our public schools.

Gov. Larry Hogan

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The Last Hurrah Presents: METLab Presents: Secret Teen Baby!

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85 – Secret Teen Baby

Teaming up with Jesse Marciniak from the Maryland Ensemble Theatre’s METLab program, a panel consisting of Isabel and Helena Duarte and Christine McQuaid plus a little help from The Last Hurrah’s Two Human Family (but not by blood) Band put together the next great METLab script: An original musical entitled Secret Teen Baby!

In it, we learn the story of Tatiana Veronica, a woman of all races except for white and how she came to love Janice, a secret teen baby. But when tragedy strikes (or more so, crushes) can their love prevail in a world that hates Teen Babies? Goo-goo Gah-gah, bitch!

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Then, join us at the Maryland Ensemble Theatre on Sunday July 31st for a new adventure!

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The Last Hurrah Brings About The Frexit

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81 – Frexit

This week, James McGarvey (alias: Jiggy. Alias alias: Nurse Jiggy) is in the hosting chair, joined by Thomas Scholtes and One-man-band-leader Thom Huenger! They’re sick and tired of being confined to the rules and limitations of the United States and tonight they begin their advocacy for a great Frexit, exiling Frederick from Larry Hogan and the rest of Maryland, NAY! The rest of… AMERICA.

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Then, join us at the Maryland Ensemble Theatre on Sunday July 3rd for a new adventure!

Live from the MET, this week Christine McQuaid returns for a long overdue stint as guest host! So come on down and get your discount fireworks before the Fourth!

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The Last Hurrah – Horse Racists

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78 – Horse Racists

This week, Kevin, Thom and Jiggy discuss the Preakness Stakes! These experts on horse racing are un-matched in their knowledge of what makes every sport racist and how Beyonce’s Lemonade came to be. PLUS! A Visit from special guest, triple crown winner American Pharaoh!

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Then, swing by the Maryland Ensemble Theatre on Sunday May 29th for a whole new adventure!

This week, the fun continues with Kevin Cole, Thom Huenger, Christine McQuaid and more as the gang tries to make sense of life and whatever nonsense comes with it.

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How to Vote in The Maryland Primary

Tuesday will a big day for voters, with 5 states hosting their primary elections. Maryland is set to play a key role with 95 delegates at stake for Democrats and 38 for republicans. This comes with numerous changes to the voting process as the state has decided to forego electronic ballots, luckily we have all the tips you need to cast your vote in the Maryland Primary.

Finding Your Polling Place

Your polling location should have been mailed out to you. In the event that you forgot, the easiest way to locate it is to go outside the night before election day, locate the North Star and follow it for 57 paces. This should plant your right in front of your designated polling place, leave a trail of bread crumbs so that you can locate it in the morning.

What To Bring

While the constitution ensures your right to vote, there are strict laws in place to protect you from voter fraud. The easiest way to be guaranteed your ability to vote remains is to bring a copy of your fourth grade year book, this has been the gold standard of identification since the Lincoln administration.

New Ballots

While Maryland votes are no longer cast with electronic machines, the new ballots aren’t entirely new. Election officials have opted to revert back to methods used by the state’s founding fathers. When you arrive at your polling place, you will be given an electoral crab mallet, find the crab that represents your chosen candidate and give it wack (names are often written on the underside of the crab in blue sharpie). The bashed crab will then be cooked and fed to a state delegate representing your candidate, the delegate to gain the most weight decides the outcome.

Voting While Independent

Independent voters get very little say in Maryland’s closed primary. So little say that independents who enter a polling place are often locked up and sentenced to 6 months in prison, which tends to disqualify them from voting in the general election. However, it is still possible for independents to make their voices heard. When the moon is in its third phase, burn an effigy to your candidate of choice deep within a field of corn, let the blaze catch amongst the crops and spread to the nearby villages. The message of your chosen candidate will be carried on ashes and taken to the state house in Annapolis.

Upon Completion

Wear your “I Voted” sticker with pride so that you do not fall victim to the hoards of spring breakers, searching a human beer bong to take with them Ocean City.

Kevin Cole

This Week on The Last Hurrah: Butt Chugging and Coachella

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75 – Butt Chugging Blaine Young

We’re not going to lie, this week’s episode starts off strong (namely with a discussion of butt chugging) but that’s what happens when you come back from hiatus, right? After that, we play catch-up with some news that Kevin and Thom didn’t get to discuss during their absence, namely, the biggest prostitution scandal to ROCK Frederick county! Robert Martin and Katie Rattigan join the fun!

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Then join us at The Maryland Ensemble Theatre for more fun on Sunday at 7pm!

With the Maryland State Primaries just around the corner (April 26th) we’ll be getting out the vote and courting local politicians. But if they want our vote, they’ll need to stick to something we care about… COACHELLA! This week, the Last Hurrah hosts The Coachella Primaries!

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