Tag Archives: Michael Jackson

The Annual’s Top 5 Songs for Halloween

Looking to make a totally bangin’ mix that’ll scare all the local kids on Halloween but give you and the ladies something to jam out to as the night goes on? Luckily, we’ve compiled the top 5 Halloween songs for your listening pleasure. Just plug these Youtube videos into whatever MP3 converter website you prefer and get ready to haunt the night away!

Why it’s spooky:
It’s all in the title: The Monster Mash. Monsters are inherently scary. This song features not one monster, but four or five different monsters. Those local kids wouldn’t dare egg your house when there are zombies inside dancing and who knows what else!

Why it’s groovy:
This track features a verse from The Crypt Keeper 5 that’ll keep you shaking that rump until stars align, triggering the end of days.

Why it’s spooky:
Did you know that Michael Jackson is dead? I know I get spooked every time I hear a dead person singing, it’s eerie. In what world should the dead be allowed to come back to life for 3-5 minutes to perform a hit song? A cruel and unjust world.

Why it’s groovy:
Vincent Price rises from the dead for a short track. There are few vocalists, dead or alive, with a voice as sultry as Vincent’s. Watch the panties drop as soon as Price sings “The foulest stench is in the air, the funk of 40,000 years” I’m hot just thinking about it.

Why it’s spooky:
This song paints the image of a nihilistic partier, a lonely scientist who is willing to give party-goers a jolt from his electrodes to just to keep their feet tapping to the beat. This man truly does not care if you aren’t in the mood to party, in the end you will dance for him.

Why it’s groovy:
Why don’t you just listen to the lyrics, “it caught on in a flash!” How can you not want to listen to it over and over, late into the night.

Why it’s spooky:
There are few Chinese dishes as unappetizing as beef chow mein. Ugh, that stuff looks a pile of worms feasting on the liver of a dead rock star. Pass the eggdrop soup Jim, I just need some comfort food tonight.

Why it’s groovy:
Ever had a Pina Colada at Trader Vicks? That drink will loosen you up faster than you can say Aa-ooooo! So drink a pint of this top 40 hit and tell the babes not to shave.

Why it’s spooky:

Listen closely to the very end of the track and you can hear actual recordings of Dr. Frankenstein and his monster. If those sounds are to be believed, the monster may be stalking the hills of a nearby village and he could be coming for you!

Why it’s groovy:
Have you ever wondered what happened to the Transylvanian Twist? It’s now the Monster Mash motherfucker! You no longer have avoid the sunlight and garlic to have a good time. Cut loose and boogie down.

Kevin Cole

The Hidden Messages of Michael Jackson’s Xscape

Kevin Cole

Prior to its release, many Michael Jackson fans were skeptical about the decision to take the King of Pop’s old demo tapes and remaster them. “He didn’t want them to be released for a reason” we all said. “If it ain’t good enough for Thriller the first time, it ain’t good enough for me!” Shouted one man who saw this coming during an early screening of Michael Jackson’s This Is It. However, after spending hours upon hours listening to the late king’s new album it has become clear the Jackson actually wanted us to hear these demos after his death. Michael Jackson’s Xscape is veritable tell-all album, which pop star uses to give fans the final word on a variety of topics. Instead of releasing these songs during his lifetime he held off and slowly compiled the greatest compilation of hidden messages since The Beatles White Album. All of which can be found below:

1: Love Never Felt So Good

Recently, Justin Timberlake revealed that it was Michael Jackson who convinced him to quit ‘N Sync and pursue a solo career. The truth is that Jackson never directly spoke to Timberlake about going solo, as the King of Pop was also the king of backmasking (the art of recording messages backwards). You can hear it in Jackson’s vocal stings, the way his words often pop at the end are actually the start of a new word when played in reverse. In 2002, Michael Jackson sent the original recording of Love Never Felt So Good to Justin Timberlake with the note “Thinking of including in my next album, but I wanted your thoughts. I have a great respect for your music, particularly your hit Pop of which I am the King.” When played backwards you can Jackson softly croon to Timberlake “When you’re one of five/you won’t always jive/JT are you okay?/Are you okay JT?” Within a year, ‘N Sync would disband and Timberlake would begin his quest to bring sexy back.

2: Chicago

Many songs posthumously released by Tupac Shakur have led to questions as to whether or not the rapper is still alive, this is one of those songs. Chicago tells the story of young man struggling to live in Chicago’s South Side, or as Jackson topically calls it, Chiraq. It’s a song about violence and gun control, perhaps the oddest part is when Michael says “Christ came back on Easter morning/But what of the families of nine in mourning.” The supposed to allusion to the nine killed over Easter weekend in Chicago is nothing more than coincidental, but his stance of guns remains strong. As for rhyming morning with mourning, no one said the unreleased demos were his best work.

3: Loving You

When Jackson sings “I’ll hold you over a mountain top/ you’re my world and I’ll never stop loving you” he’s making a clear allusion to his son Blanket. It’s an unapologetic statement of a father’s love for his son. Stating clearly that he doesn’t regret presenting his son from a third story window and if given the opportunity would dangle his son from the top of Everest just to share him with the world.

4: A Place With No Name

Another track that is heavily laden with backmasking. This time, Jackson definitely answers the rumors that bought The Elephant Man’s bones. When played backwards you can hear him make the following statement “I never bought Joseph Merrick’s bones. But if you’re searching for The Elephant Man, there’s a back alley in Whitechapel where a man waits every April Eleventh. He will take you to a place with no name [a phrase that surprisingly sounds the same forwards and backwards] and sell the bones for $10,000 a piece. It was a bit much for me at the time, but the right price for the right billionaire.”

5: Slave to the Rhythm

[The white writer of this article is "not even going to touch this one"]

6: Do You Know Where Your Children Are?

The best made plans of Oompa Loompas often go awry, a statement that is exponentially true in this track. Jackson lays out his Willy Wonka-esque plan to leave Neverland Ranch to the most deserving child. He describes the multitude of 90’s child stars who visited the ranch and the reasons they were kicked out. Macaulay Culkin made it further than any child but was ultimately removed from the premises when Jackson realized that he too would grow old like the other stars and that Neverland Ranch did not hold the same magical powers as the fictional land invented by J.M. Barrie.

7: Blue Gangsta

It’s common knowledge the Michael Jackson bought the rights to numerous Beatles songs from beneath Paul McCartney. His reasoning is backmasked in a hip-hop homage to the Beatles’ film Yellow Submarine. He alleges that today’s Paul McCartney is a two-timing gangster from the fifties named Billy Shears who killed the original Paul in a car crash in 1965 and then assumed his identity. Jackson states that a criminal of that degree did not deserve the rights to Yesterday.

8: Xscape

This uplifting title track subtly explains how Michael’s father turned him and the rest of the Jackson 5 into Rhythm Slaves. Making them work for long hours, harmonizing for no pay. It’s no secret that the Jacksons had a contentious relationship with their father, but this song proves that he was a real slave driver. It’s a dark theme, but Jackson Xplains how he was able to Xscape from the chains of his father and become his own man, how he was able to redefine himself and genre and encourages others to do so for themselves. We can all Xscape the metaphorical slavery that is holding us down, if we just look within ourselves.

To date there are over 100 unreleased Jackson tracks that one could easily predict future remastering following the success of Xscape. Could these be filled with even more of revelations to Jackson’s life story, or is this it?

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Michael Jackson’s ‘Xscape’: Track List

“WOW!”

“NO WAY!”

“I’M PRE-ORDERING MINE NOW!”

Hear that? That is the sound of three people reacting to the news that Michael Jackson will be releasing a new album in May. “But isn’t he dead?” is something you’re probably thinking and yes, according to the liberal media elite, he is dead. However, many highly intelligent people in a basement under Texas unfortunately called Conspiracy Theorist believe he is alive and only faked his death back in 2009. Whether you are a drone who believes anything CNN tells you or an ultra cool free thinker on the Internet, The Annual has something for you! We have acquired the track names to Michael Jackson’s new Album Xscape. Read them and weep all over again just like the day he “died.”

140331-michael-jackson-xscape

  1. I’m Still Dead but Alive in You
  2. My Coffin Smells of You Feat. Elvis
  3. I Wanna Be On Your Mantel
  4. You Proud Now, Dad?
  5. That Was It
  6. Being White in Heaven
  7. Haunting Bubbles
  8. Neverland Heaven
  9. Xscaping the Afterlife
  10. Maggots Ate (What Was Left Of) My Nose
  11. Thriller (From The P.O.V Of The Dead)
  12. Good
  13. Please Stop ‘Cause I’m Dead Enough Feat. Ke$ha
  14. Bonus Track: Lisa It’s Your Birthday (Happy Birthday Lisa) – The Unreleased Demo From The Simpsons

 

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Track List by: Kevin Cole, Lily Fryburg, Briana Haynie, and Andrew Michaels