Tag Archives: Mothers Day

Heartbreaking! 6 Ways You Still Managed to Disappoint Mom on Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day was off to a great start, brunch, mimosas, the works! Somehow you managed to make it through the whole day without painfully screwing up, so why does it feel like you left mom disappointed? Because try as hard as you might, you still broke her heart, here’s why…

1. Mimosas

Time to face the facts, Mom loves mimosas, but every time you take her out for drinks it’s a painful reminder of the dark path you’ve taken towards becoming a “functioning alcoholic.” Sure, that sounds like a notable label, but it really means you’re just an alcoholic and Mom would hate to see you end up like Aunt Susan having woke up in dumpster with the manuscript for the next great American novel, only to lose a night’s work when you vomit all over the climax.

2. The Salad Fork

Do you even know the difference between your salad fork and your meal fork? For Christ’s sake, we taught you proper etiquette. This is why Jessica left you, you have a talent for screwing things up in the smallest way.

3. Why Couldn’t You Have Been a Doctor?

You know the Smith’s daughter? She’s an award winning surgeon and she married an actual rocket scientist. Why couldn’t you be like her? Or at least have gotten married to her, you two were so close in high school.

4. Your Hair’s Too Long

Listen son, you’re starting to look very scruffy. Like a dog who’s never been groomed. Do you just roll around in the mud all day, and use your hair to clean the mud off? Get it together!

5. Masturbation

You did it, didn’t you? Masturbated on Mother’s Day. We could all see it in your eyes, plotting your sexual exploits throughout the day. This afternoon, when Pornhub releases a scientific study about how MILF videos spiked in views in on Mother’s Day, you’ll know you were a part of the problem. Even if you weren’t, the fact that you know what a MILF is is problem enough.

6. You’ll Never Bring Frank Back

After your brother went missing, you led a search party that lasted 5 months, but turned up nothing. He’s still out there, your poor brother, but what have you done to find him lately? Did you know he writes a letter to your mother maybe twice a year with no return address. He’s still out there! Maybe he doesn’t want to be found, but the truth is you aren’t looking hard enough to know.

Kevin Cole

TLH – Justifying Mother’s Day Gifts

In a new game, Christine McQuaid is presented with last minute Mother’s Day gifts and must find ways to justify giving them to her mom, but things go awry when Anna Jarvis (Katie Rattigan), the founder of Mother’s Day, arrives at the scene. You heard it on the podcast now, now have just the right amount of visuals to know what was happening on stage!

Join the fun Sunday May 17th at the Maryland Ensemble Theatre

Learn more at LastHurrahLive.com

TLH – Mother’s Day

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This weekend’s Last Hurrah is now available online, download it and subscribe to the show via iTunes.

On this very special episode of The Last Hurrah, guest host Christine McQuaid sits down with Karli and Lori “Kevin’s Mom” Cole to discuss mother’s day and find out if Kevin and Karli were awful children. Plus justifying Mother’s Day gifts and special visit from Anna Jarvis.

Guest Host:
Christine McQuaid

Panelists:
Karli Cole
Lori Cole

Special Guest:
Anna Jarvis (Katie Rattigan)Episode Writers:
Kevin Cole
Christine McQuaid
Katie Rattigan

Join The Last Hurrah Sunday May 17th at 7pm

Learn More at LastHurrahLive.com

[Papercraft] Freudian Mother’s Day Cards!

Just in time for Mother’s Day, The Annual is here to roll out a brand new Mother’s Day Card so you can tell Mom just how much you really love her. Simply print out the images below and follow our simple instructions!

Mother’s Day Card Exterior

 

Fruedian Mothers Day Card Exterior

 

Mother’s Day Card Interior

Fruedian Card Interior

 

Step 1:

Grab some hard, think printer paper and print the exterior of the card (above).

Step 2:

Follow the instructions and insert your card into the printer with the exterior side up.

photo 2

Step 3:

With both sides effectively printed, cut along the dotted line.

photo 4

Once cut out, your card should look like this:

photo 5

Step 4:

Fold the card in half (as you would do with any homemade card, we trust this isn’t your first time).

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Now wrap it up in an envelope and give it to your mother!

Happy Mother’s Day Readers!

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