If Stanley Tucci Were Your Boyfriend, you would own a good cheese knife. Nothing pretentious. You wouldn’t need a whole set. Just one. But it would be perfect, and you would never have trouble sliding Camembert pieces off of it. You would be the kind of person who invests in small, good, useful things. You would treat yourself with compassion, and you would never eat Cheetos in the shower.
Jazmine Hughes investigates How Many White People Does It Take To Ruin a Good Joke? White folks tend to punch sideways–especially cis white dude comedians–because they’re the epitome of privilege.
What the Hell is Mortdecai? Y’all, this is the funniest fucking review I’ve ever read. It is bookmarked so I can read it when I feel sad or disturbed or in any way upset.
If you somehow missed this excellent profile of the Broad City badasses, rectify that immediately.
It’s been awhile since I shared the sharpest essays in the humor writing biz. I’m sorry. I lost sight of what was important.
1. Boyish Girl Interrupted Tour: Am I never not on a Tig kick? (That’s Tig Notaro, for the uninitiated, the deprived, the depraved). Here’s a brief exclusive interview Tig did about her current stand-up tour. I know what you’re thinking: DID YOU MEET TIG WHEN YOU SAW HER AT THE BENTZEN BALL IN WASHINGTON, D.C. AT THE LINCOLN THEATRE? Yeah, yeah, I did. Yeah, it was transcendental. Yeah, the poster she signed for me is what I would save if my house were on fire.
2. Sense of Humor Changes With Age: Duh, but why? Why doesn’t Mom-maw like Michael Scott?
3. Scientists Sneak Bob Dylan Lyrics Into Articles as Part of Long-Running Bet.
4. “Try showing off your sexy body. Bend your elbow so the crease looks like a butt. He’ll love it! You should always assume that all men want to potentially have sex with you. If this makes a guy uncomfortable, then, LMAO, PRUDE!!!!!!! *high fives everyone on our Fantasy Football league*” – The Official Rookie Guide to Female Pickup Artistry
5. ‘Twilight’ to be Revived as Short Films on Facebook: I feel like this headline raises more questions than it answers.