Today on Good Times, find out exactly what Karli wants for Christmas and learn how to write your own letter to Santa!
–Additional Tunes by Kevin MacLeod–
PANAMA CITY BEACH, Fla. – A recent tragedy struck close to Holiday home Friday night, leaving the entire human race shaken.
Panama City Beach reports that Dasher, the eldest of Santa’s reindeer has died due to a drug overdose. According to recent reports, the other seven have been comatose since hospitalization. “We won’t know the damage of injuries sustained until they wake up. If they wake up.” stated Dr. Joy, head of the medical team at Bay Medical Center.
The group was visiting Panama City Beach from their hometown, the North Pole. “They told me they were planning to stay local for spring break.” explains Durolph*, a coworker shares via phone interview. “… although we have had a stressful few weeks of Q1 inventory. I wonder why they didn’t invite me.”
The preliminary autopsy report on Dasher indicates the presence of “Atnas,” a compound commonly found in emerging street drug Oxyheroin. Also known as “Father Kushmas” and “Snow Blower,” Oxyheroin is a potent mix of marijuana and cocaine that is rapidly gaining popularity among adolescent reindeer aged 16 to 22. Health care professionals are calling it an “epidemic that must be stopped.”
Panama City Beach Police Department have issued a public statement grieving the news and shared their commitment to finding and shutting down all local Oxyheroin outlets. The investigation is open and ongoing.
While Mr. Santa Claus has remained silent on recent events, a spokesperson from the Holiday Elves’ Labor Union issued a statement saying that Mr. Claus and his wife are devastated by the news and are unlikely to accept interviews at this time.
The North Pole has not returned The Annual’s request for comment.
*Name changed per participant request.
From its inception, The Annual was meant to be a place that could foster new ideas and content from its contributors. Over the past few months Lydia Hadfield has consistently been suppling new material for the site and characters for The Last Hurrah. She went above and beyond this past holiday season when apropos of nothing, she wrote a short christmas play to be read on The Last Hurrah. It was aptly titled “A Christmas Play.”
Over the past two months, we have been working to turn the play into a short film, one which promises to be a 25 minute spectacle turning Christmas into Krimby. We’ll be teaming with Stephen Sues and Annual artist David Luna to animate portions the tales themselves. Familiar faces from The Last Hurrah will join us on screen to bring the story to life but we need your help to make this the best possible Krimby Film ever made!
On Sunday night (in lieu of The Last Hurrah) we began production on Krimby Tales, occupying the Curious Iguana (an independent bookstore in Frederick) to shoot the film’s first scene.
We’re actively working to bring this tale to life but the bulk of the film will eventually be animated and that’s where we need your help! Give the project a look on Kickstarter and please consider making a donation to the cause. There are plenty of Krimby Awards for your perusal.
Live from The Last Hurrah, a staged reading of Lydia Hadfield’s latest production. A tale of a woman in search of gifts who comes to learn much more about Christmas than she could have ever anticipated.
A Christmas Play
Written by Lydia Hadfield
This past weekend, Frederick resident Chris Hollenbreck embarked on his annual one-man SantaCon. The tradition has its roots in New York City, where one day of the holiday season is devoted to dressing up as Santa and consuming dangerous amounts of alcohol. Hollenbreck, a New York University dropout and current Downtown Frederick resident, brought the festive event to his hometown two winters ago.
“People drink in Frederick, but unless it’s Drinksgiving there’s no real holiday spirit. No holiday spirits, if you catch my drift,” said Hollenbreck. “So I thought, why not toss on a Santa hat, toss back a few brews and make a night of it?”
And make a night of it he did! Hollenbreck started his adventure at Brewer’s Alley, running into a few high school friends. “Becky was there. Oh man, Becky. I’d like to stuff some coal in her stocking,” he said, thinking fondly of his fellow Urbana High School ’08 graduate.
According to Hollenbreck, he never intended for the outing to be a solo SantaCon.
“I’ve tried to get more folks to come along: Becky, Victoria, Hillary, they all had other plans. I even asked Jeff,” he said. Reportedly, Hollenbreck and Jeff hadn’t spoke since a tenth grade argument regarding Star Wars Episode III. “They’re still churning them out, so I guess we know who won that argument.”
Unable to find anyone willing to play Santa’s Little Helper, Hollenbreck made his way down the street to Wags for a few more drinks, and then stumbled over to Guido’s. That’s where a night of attempting to get bars full of people to sing Christmas carols took a turn for the worst.
“I threw up twice, which is pretty good for me, especially on SantCon,” said Hollenbreck. He recalls vomiting in front of the Guido’s restroom, followed by a prompt berating by the barkeep. “No Christmas spirit! That guy was a real Grinch. He forced this dude I was talking with to clean up the mess. He didn’t even work there!”
After being escorted from the premises, Hollenbeck vomited a second time in front of “a few nice firemen,” who called him an Uber and got him home safely. There, Hollenbeck stared long and hard into a lump of coal and wept over what he had become.