Tag Archives: transcript

One Last Shouting Match: Trump’s Best Moments From The Final Debate

Chris Wallace: Welcome to the third and final presidential debate between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton–

Donald Trump: Before we go any further, I just want to go on the record that I am drug free. I urinated in a cup before we started and I had the best, cleanest urine. Clear. Like water. You could drink it, believe me. Anyway, my doctor has certified it – Drug. Free. You don’t see Hillary taking a drug test. What is she hiding?

Chris Wallace: Alright Mr. Trump, I’m going to have to stop you there. For tonight’s debate, I will ask the questions and you will each be given two minutes to respond.

Donald Trump: (Rolling his eyes) Okay Chris.

Chris Wallace: I beg your pardon?

Donald Trump: Anderson Cooper said the same thing. Are you ALSO going to let Secretary Clinton go over her time? I just want to make sure we’re being fair here.

Chris Wallace: When the time is up, I will inform Secretary Clinton, as I will for you. If we all stick to the time, there won’t be any problems.

Donald Trump: Okay, I just want to make sure it’s fair.

Chris Wallace: It will be.


Hillary Clinton: The last seven statements made about me are completely false and if you go to my website HillaryClinton.com–

Donald Trump: Don’t go to her website.

Hillary Clinton: — we have fact checkers —

Donald Trump: Don’t go to her website.

Hillary Clinton: — who are constantly checking Donald’s statements.

Donald Trump: Lies. Her fact checkers are liars. If you go to her website she just going to ask you for money. She’s going to ask you to make a “contribution” to her campaign but she’s just using that money to buy the election. She is RIGGING this election and she using her WEBSITE to do it.

Hillary Clinton: … Again, HillaryClinton.com for the facts.


Chris Wallace: … with that in mind, what will you do to handle immigration? Mr. Trump you may answer first.

Donald Trump: First of all, I would like to call attention my special guest tonight, Malik OBAMA. Now Malik is from KENYA, but he’s a US Citizen. How? I find that very interesting. I’ve spoken to Malik. We’re friends, Malik and I, and he finds it interesting that he could gain citizenship so easily. He wasn’t born here. He was born in Kenya. Sound familiar? I have worked with him to develop a new immigration policy that is fair to all Americans. Under my administration, you will have to be born in America to even be CONSIDERED for citizenship. To gain instant citizenship both sets of biological grandparents will have to be American Citizens. Without that, they are illegal. They are OUT! Of course, there will be exceptions. There are always exceptions. Malik, he’s okay. He’s my guy. But believe me, we will be a lot tougher on what constitutes a citizen.


Hillary Clinton: We’re going to use the intelligence agencies at our disposal and —

Chris Wallace: Secretary, your time is up.

Hillary Clinton: — that’s how we’ll —

Donald Trump: Your time is up Hillary! Hillary, your time is up! Can you believe her, folks? I mean, what is she, deaf?

Chris Wallace: Mr. Trump, I’ll keep track of time, thank you very much.

Donald Trump: Excuse me, you were going to let her go for another minute and now you’re mad at me for shutting her up? This is unfair. She blatantly cheating by going over her time and I’m in trouble for making sure she follows the rules. This is a mess, Chris. I expected better from you.

Kevin Cole

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LEAKED! Full Transcript from the Megyn Kelly/Donald Trump Interview

Donald Trump: You know, most women curtsey when they greet me.

Megyn Kelly: I can’t remember the last time I curtseyed for anyone.

Trump: Would you like to try it?

Kelly: No.

Trump: Suit yourself. If I were you–

Kelly: Well, you’re not me.

Trump: Oh my god! Is that how this is going to go? You interrupting me? That’s very rude. I’m sorry Megyn, but you’re rude. You’re a rude person. Some of my religious friends would call you a suppressive person. I’m just saying, if I were you, I would start practicing now because when I’m the president that’s how all women will greet me. A slight bend at the knees, subtly spreading their legs while lifting their skirts just a teensy bit. It’ll be required. Especially the skirts. No more of these butch women in pants. Keep it ladylike.

Kelly: … okay. Mr. Trump, at campaign rallies you’ve–

Trump: Wait a minute. You’re not on the rag are you? Because that’s a perfectly acceptable reason not to curtsey, I wouldn’t want to put you in that position.

Kelly: Mr. Trump, I’m not–

Trump: After all, our agreement does state that this interview wouldn’t happen during that time. So, I’m also mentioning it for my own safety. I mean, I have guards, the best protection. So this is really for your safety too.

Kelly: I can assure you–

Trump: You women, you just get so hostile! There’s an insatiable blood lust. You’re like dogs. You’re all a bunch of dogs. Sad, it’s sad, it’s a sad thing.

Kelly: I’M NOT ON MY PERIOD!

Trump: Okay! No need to shout. I’m mean, you’re not on your period.

Kelly: I’m sorry, I lost my composure.

Trump: Apology accepted.

Kelly: Let’s start over.

Trump: You got it, sister! [Mimics a tape recorder rewinding]

Kelly: Hey, that’s pretty good!

Trump: You like that? [Mimics tape recorder a second time]

Kelly: [Mimics tape recorder back]

Trump: You’ve got to go a little higher [Mimics tape recorder]

Kelly: Like this? [Mimics tape recorder]

This continues for three full minutes.

Kelly: [laughing] Gosh, you’re fun.

Trump: I am. I’m a fun guy. I’m like the Splash Mountain of people and let me tell ya Megyn, everyone’s lining up to take a ride. We’re currently developing fast-passes for my most passionate supporters. They’ll be able to get in and out of my speeches without having to wait. If they get arrested for defending me, those fast-passes are gonna send a message to the cops, who I love, that say “Don’t worry. The Donald’s got it.”

Kelly: Mr. Trump, your campaign has seen an almost meteoric rise to power.

Trump: That’s true, it’s undeniable and it’s tremendous. Like I said they can’t get enough. There are these people… These Americans who are disenfranchised and they see me and say to themselves “He’s really got a great.”

Kelly: … A great what?

Trump: A great. I am a great. My power can not be denied.

Kelly: Mr. Trump, what’s your favorite color?

Trump: Blue’s nice. I like gold. Is gold a color or a mineral? I can never tell. I’ve had decorators pull out a color wheel and they can’t find it, so I take out one of my dinner plates and tell them “Make it like this. This is the only color wheel you need.” So blue and gold. If there were a type of person with gold hair and blue eyes, that’d really be perfect. The perfect person.

Kelly: Well, I’m afraid we’re out of time. Mr. Trump thank you so much.

Trump: Of course Megyn. I’m so glad we were able to put our differences aside for what will absolutely be a tremendous hour of highly-watched television. A killer in the ratings, I have no doubt.

Kelly: Nor have I, Peace be with you.

Trump: And also with you.

Kevin Cole